Can't Remember if...........

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Can't Remember if...........
5
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 7:20pm

I've posted about this before or not. So, please forgive me if I'm repeating myself. I'm still sorting out everything from the after effects of the lithium problems.


Anyway, as most of you know, I have been seeking more support and support/dental expenses arrearages from xh for months now. Well last week, I think, he called me and told me he would agree to my terms even if I wanted to "drag his boss into our affairs" (referring to the income deduction order). Well, I told him that was fine with me, that I'd call my lawyer and have her draw up the final papers. I still was suspicious though. I had received an anonymous letter telling me to hire a private investigator to see where xh really spent his money. But, to xh's benefit, I can't afford to do that. So, my guard is up. Today he sends me and IM telling me to have my lawyer send him the papers for him to sign. My lawyer said he has to come in her office and sign them (I'm guessing so they can be notarized). He doesn't want this thing to be a legal binding document. So I expect he'll back out when he gets her letter telling him he has to come to her office to sign the papers. In which case, the whole mess will go before a judge in August.


Anyway, long story short, it looks like a settlement is very close - either by the end of this month or next. I've compromised the civil relationship we had, but if it was a choice of the that or supporting his kids......there was no contest to begin with.


Sorry if I jumped around a lot. My mind is racing with a lot of things right now. So if you've made it this far, congratulations and thanks for listening.


Hugs,
Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 8:47am

yes you mentioned it, but not all of it.


i'm going to say it again...ask for his tax returns....you can ask for them now and even put it in the papers that he has to show them to you every time he files....maybe something will show up in there and you don't have to always wonder what a private investigator would find out....


DO NOT just settle on this...you have been thru way too much to just settle..i'm telling you, you will not be happy about it.

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God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 10:55am
Hopefully the end is near. Keep the guard up, it's very suspicious (and I don't even know the man!). Pls keep us posted!!
Hugs, Kelli





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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 11:52am

I agree that the 'civil' relationship that exists is a false one put on solely for the sake of the kids.


And, if my hunch is right, he won't agree to come to the attorney's office to sign the papers. He wants it done his way (i.e., having them mailed to him so he can sign them,etc.) which would not be witnessed/notarized therefore would not be legally binding leaving him a way out so to speak.


As for his tax returns, if there's extra money coming in, it's not going to show there. I know his boss, used to work for the man. I know how he is with raises. The man gives new meaning to the word tight. If xh is making extra money, it's on the side and under the table......he's done it before.


I know how strongly you feel on this and that you don't want to see me get screwed on this and for that I really appreciate it. I've just already put in more money than I can afford to repay my mother for the lawyer and I can't see dragging it out further if I get the baseline of what I'm asking for. As it is, his paychecks will be coming, pretty much, directly to me for the next severaly months. His lifestyle will change dramatically. That's his problem - not mine. He chose to not support his kids and go out and live it up. Now I'm calling him on it and right at the moment, it looks like I'm going to win. Maybe not all the marbles, but pretty much all of them.


I don't know if that makes any sense. I'm still trying to come out of this haze I've been in for the past few weeks. I'll be glad when/if my faculties

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 12:17pm

you are making sense...i get it...i just don't want you to be sorry you didn't finish this, or miss something b/c he's agreeing for it to be settled....kwim?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 1:14pm

I know where you're coming from. I think, in fact, that's why I expect there's going to be trouble when it comes down to him driving to the lawyer's office to sign the papers. So, if he doesn't go to the office it goes to court. At which time, the tax returns and all that will have to be produced.


So basically he'd be (well he already is) an idiot to pass up the sweet deal he's being offered right now. He's looking at the dollar signs thinking I'm the biggest money hungry (#*( that walked the planet. Wait until a judge looks at the discovery and throws the book at him. So basically, I will come out ahead either way. I'm getting what I initially asked for by settling out of court. If it goes to court and it's discovered that he's gotten a raise or two over the past 6 years (and knowing his boss it wouldn't be more than that) then I'd get a little more.