Guess I am moving to this board!
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 03-17-2011 - 7:25pm |
My A ended about 9 days ago. He still wants to be friends and wants to talk like we used to. I responded to his text today. My question is how do you remain friends? He still wants to be here when I need something, just not the physical aspect of the A. I love him very much and am missing him. I still have a little hope that I can get over him, I do not know how, am just going day by day, one foot in front of the other.
He ended it because he thinks he can not go through another divorce, he just can't do it. He tells me that he cared about me enough to set me free, and that by sharing me he has been selfish. I am so confused about how he can just walk away for the 2nd time. I cannot allow this to happen again, he does not have the right to break my heart a third time. Anyway doing OK at the moment, trying to stay busy, with work and more work.....

Pages
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
and I will add a third support - so many want to do "the adult thing" and be friends - but there is no reasonable way to maintain a platonic friendship once you have crossed the boundaries in an A situation.
Compare it to making a milkshake - you add all the things you both like - chocolate, maybe a banana, some coconut and nuts, and you blend it together - there is no way to take any of those ingredients back out of the shake itself - it is what the two of you created.
Army mom, let me give you a huge hug and say welcome!! I am so happy for you that you have reached the point where you can see that you "cannot allow this to happen". You are absolutely right - he does "not have the right to break [your] heart a third time." You deserve so much more and you have come to the right place to start building a happier, healthier, and more whole you.
I recently ended a six year affair, after trying over and over to stop the A and "just be friends". I can tell you, being friends DOES NOT WORK. You crossed that line a long time ago and there is no going back. (I love Lolly's milkshake analogy!!) You
I am so happy you came
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
I love this place and you ladies. I love the strength that you all have, especially you.
I stayed friends with my AP.
Pages