Not to good right now
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Not to good right now
| Mon, 07-17-2006 - 11:26am |
I was feeling so good and stable. Now the past few days I have been so lost and down. I have tried to do self talk but it isn't working. I am taking a shower and fixing my hair and make-up but

Tina, I'm sorry things are going so bad right now. Keep thinking about your dd, can you spend more time around her? If she makes you feel good, maybe you could hug her, etc instead of your bf. Since you can't drive is there anywhere nearby you could walk to? Or maybe just take a walk in general? Just a few ideas. I hope you feel better soon.
Hang in there,
Meg
***************Possible triggers********************
I know what you mean about the sleeping. I do that also. As far as the suicidal thoughts I think you and Meg both need to be careful about those. I've read that the first step is just entertaining the notion. People don't just "do it." They spend time talking themselves into it little bits at a time (or so I've read). That being said, I know exactly the type of thoughts you're talking about. When I have those thoughts I know I'm doing pretty bad. I've started to seriously consider it a time or two and it always started with just a little thought. Anyhow, I wish I had a good suggestion for how to "get out." Meg's idea of a walk seems like a good one. To me the Internet is almost like getting out. Today I do not want to be around people yet I'm sort of lonely. How weird is that? I've been hanging out here and I feel less lonely. Keep up the self talk. Fake it till you make it.
Hugs,
Morgaine
Tina,
Honey, believe me I CAN TOTALLY FEEL YOUR PAIN. I know exactly what you are going through, exactly.
I had to get pdoc to increase my Lexapro a week ago, because I was the same way. Its helping, but of course, as ALWAYS, I am still getting depressed. But nothing like I was before the increase.
Please talk to your pdoc about your a/d. Its not working. I've learned (and finally convinced my pdoc) that i don't have to live this way...not when there are meds available that COULD help. For a long time, my pdoc wouldn't give me an a/d, and I was so miserable...well, you know how it was for me. I lost so much to BP depression. I will not lose anything else. Period.
I know it sucks to be lonely and bored and broke...I am too. But I'm SLOWLY learning to love being alone in my house...not yet am I getting out much, except for work and my parents, but that's okay.
I do my share of sleeping or just laying there feeling sorry for myself. There are so many times I too wish I could drive my car into a tree, or take all the bottles of pills I have...just never wake up to the pain of living. But think for a minute about the small things you would miss...not even the huge ones...but the sunshine. The stars. Love. There are many kinds of love...no such thing as "traditional, or normal" love. I love you very much.
I saw this show last night on Discovery Health about these 2 people who had MAJOR disabilities, and they were HAPPY! The woman said, life is just life...you get through it. I wish it were easier for us. Know I'm here for you. And as cliche as this sounds, and as much as it makes me SO ANGRY to hear it sometimes, it WILL pass. Somehow, it always does.
Get your a/d changed, I think that will help a lot.
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.
God could not be everywhere, so