Latest update re: ex
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| Wed, 07-19-2006 - 6:23pm |
My attorney called this evening to inform me that IF this were to go to court, I would be entitled to approximately $100 more a month than the out of court settlement. But here's the rub........I've already spent way more than I could afford to even get to the point of an out of court settlement. So the logical side of my brain says take the settlement and keep the lawyer costs from spiralling even more. I'm still coming out with more than what I started with and then some with the medical bills he owes me for.
So now I know why he suddenly agreed to settle out of court. I just don't know why I feel dejected. I should be satisfied in getting what I am. He's finally being held accountable for his kids, even if it's not to the fullest extent that it could be. But as long as it betters my kids that's all I'm after. I don't know. My mood is slipping and this isn't helping it.
I just wanted to give an update. Thanks for listening.
Traci

Honey,
I don't know your whole story but I've been through this. Lawyers like to keep things running. It tears you down finacally and emotionally. Settle and make sure you have a clause in there that states you can always take him back for more if the living expenses get too much out of control. I kept my divorce and all going for 3 years...big mistake. My lawyer made out and I got what was offered in the first place. However, a few years went by and my children got older, xh income got higher and I was able to get more for my children...including more than half of their college expenses. I only wanted what was best for my children.
Good luck,
Sheryl
well girl...you know exactly what i would say and how i feel about this entire situation...so i'm not even going to go there !!!
you do what you feel is right and what YOU can live with.
God could not be everywhere, so
Donna ~ One of the reasons I have decided to settle is because my attorney also told me that due to my employment status, the judge could very well view me as being under-employed because I don't work 40 hours a week. So if it were to go to court it would be a crap shoot and I could wind up with less than the 750 that I'll be getting out of court. So it's a double edged sword.
I know I can't control him or make him be a father. I wish I could, but if wishes were horses all beggers would ride. Ya know? I just hate seeing the pain he is causing my kids. No amount of money can fix that. And I can only do so much. I can't replace him or more to the point what a father should be.
I guess that's what it comes down to. The settlement really is beside the point now. It's an issue of his lack of interest in his own children. I guess it always has been. It hits me hard knowing what I lost when my own father passed away. I don't know. I'm just in a funky place right now.
Love U 2,
Traci
Traci,
Ask your atty if settling now, precludes you from going after him for more later (like he starts making a ton more $).
Thanks Marci. I actually spoke with my atty just a little while ago, along with tdoc earlier. The general consensus is just that. Take what is on the table now, and once school is behind me and I'm employed by what the courts deem full time I can take him back then.
The paperwork for xh is going in the mail today according to my atty, so with any luck by Aug 1 I'll be able to breathe a sigh of relief...at least a little one.
I'm sorry you all are having to go through this with Jakes dad and that it's stirring up bad memories for you. I just wish some men would grow up and accept their responsibilities. Oh well. That would be like winning the lottery I think.......chances are 1 in 856,000,000,000,000........you get my meaning.
Thanks again.
Hugs,
Traci