hospitalization

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
hospitalization
6
Thu, 07-20-2006 - 9:17pm

What is it like? How does it work? Do you get anything out of it? How long does it last? Would I really leave stableized?

I'm worried I would get there and they would be like... you aren't in bad enough shape to be in the hospital, you're just really weak. Or laughing behind my back. I also don't want to feel like the "sane" one there, you know what I mean?

But what would I do... just walk up to the ER desk and say... I'm bipolar and I need to be stableized? I'm confused :(

I'm just thinking about. Right now I actually feel ok, but that's probably because I took clonazepam :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Thu, 07-20-2006 - 11:08pm

I've only ever been to the ER for the lithium toxicity. Only then when I went in I didn't know that's what it was. I thought I was finally cracking up beyond repair. But when I went in, I simply told them my symptoms and that I wanted to be checked out by a doctor to rule out any medical causes. My tdoc had actually put that in my mind. She was thinking it was medically something really serious like a stroke or something by the way I was acting/hallucinating. As it turned out, it was a medical cause....i.e., lithium toxicity. The doc told me to discontinue the lithium for 2 days and sent me home with instructions to call my pdoc the following day. I did so and she pulled me off the lithium permanently.


But, I will say this. When I went in to the triage and then back in to the actual ER room, every person I talked to, doc's and nurses, asked me if I wanted to be admitted. They take these issues very seriously and know that when you walk in of your own accord that you honestly want help to feel better. My tdoc asked me if I saw a pdoc when I was in there. I honestly don't know. I saw so many different faces that day I couldn't say who I saw. But every one of them wanted to make sure I received the best care I could get.


So, if you get to a point where you feel like you are either heading for or are in serious trouble with your moods don't hesitate to go to the ER. My hospital has one of the worst reputations around these parts and I got the best care when I was there. I am probably one of the most hospital phobic people on this board. I've been to a point where I should have gone several times and fought it every time simply because I had the same fears and then some that you have. I might be in a much better place right now if I had agreed to be admitted on any number of those occasions. But I was stubborn...........ask anybody here. Now though, after my experience in the ER, if something like that happens again, I would be more apt to be admitted.


I hope this helps you somewhat.


Peace, Love & LIght,


Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Fri, 07-21-2006 - 12:09am

Meg,


Telling them you're BP and in a very bad place (give them details) and in need of stabilization is exactly the way to go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 07-21-2006 - 8:48am

Meg,

I've been hospitalized 8 times in the course of the last 5 years. Ultradian cycling BP is the hardest to treat, but it can be done. Each time I have gone in, its because I was either really manic, really depressed, or really both and felt like I was losing my mind. It saved my life each time, literally.

You will not get laughed at. I promise. BP is a very serious illness and its just that an ILLNESS that sometimes needs more acute care than just seeing a pdoc once a week, or month.

I have been keeping up with you, and your BP is so much like mine...cycling all over the place, all day long. I do it still, though its gotten better with Lithium. I can only take a very small dose of Li, 300 mgs a night, but I'm very sensitive to the meds, and NOTHING ELSE worked for me. I still cycle. I always will.

You will learn to manage your illness. You will participate in support groups which helped me immensely...just knowing I wasn't alone. Ya know?

I always go to the ER, and just like Marci said...tell them you are BP and in a very bad place...but you have to give details. Tell them you feel like doing everything you have been feeling...remember, the cutting off thing.

Its scary at first, but once you get there, its a God-send. No, none of us relish the thought...I still don't now and say I won't go back. But I will, if I have to.

If you want to, you can call me and talk more. Give me your email addy, and I'll give you my phone number.

Stay strong...I'm with you.

Love,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
Fri, 07-21-2006 - 9:43am

Keli and all-

Thanks for the information about the hospital. I feel a lot better about it now. I had this image of them sort of taking everything away from me that might be "danergous" and lock me away in safe room.

I'm actually feel ok this morning. I started my period last night and I'm wondering if that is what caused this past week to be pure hell for me? Does the menstrual cycle mess with bipolar that much? This is only my second since I was diagnosed and the first didn't do a thing so, who knows.

Keli, I do see a lot of similarities between us and the fact that you have gotten through it gives me hope. I'm hoping that the lithium works for me, too. But have you not found anything that will at least spread out the cycling a little more? Is ultradian really treatment resistant? Because of my SA I have a really hard time talking on the phone but my email address is Meg9863@aol.com. Maybe we could just send each other emails?

It's not just the depression or the mania that has been so bad for me lately, it's the mix of them with the anger in addition. It has just been all too much for me to handle. If I'm in terrible shape before Wednesday I'll go to the hospital. But if I'm still able to hang in there I'll discuss this with pdoc on Wed.

Thanks again, you are all so supportive!!
Meg

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 07-21-2006 - 10:06am

Hey Meg…

You will find that in trying different meds, your cycles will become a bit “longer” sometimes. The Lithium will keep you from going too manic. Now, for me, I cycle still between depression and mania, but I cheat. I take caffeine in the morning, in pill form. It helps with the fatigue, and gives me energy when I’m depressed. Not many people will tell you this is okay, but its like drinking 4 cups of strong coffee. I do that from time to time as well. You’ll find little things that help your particular BP. I also take Ativan when I’m too up. Its like Clonazepam, but it works more quickly.

There is hope…its just really really HARD to see. I still feel hopeless many times. However, you will discover that you have a huge inner strength that you never knew you had. BP won’t beat you…and there is NO SHAME in going i/p (inpatient). Some people are very stubborn about it, and suffer needlessly.

Now, they will take away your stuff, anything with strings in it…for the first day. By law. But, when they know you aren’t suicidal, you can have anything pretty much. We were allowed access to our razors, and makeup, and perfume, etc. But you won’t be locked in the safe room, or any other room. Unless you of course have a huge meltdown and get rowdy. :)

I too have a past history of SA and SI. I don’t do well on the phone either. And I can’t really email from work. I just wanted to reassure you again that its okay. It will be okay.

Promise.

Love and Hugs,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 10:06am

Hi,
I was in the hospital last month, and it was the best thing I could have done. I knew I needed to go, so I called my pdoc, and she told me to call the psych hospital and let them know I was coming. I learned so much, and yes, I left there feeling more like my old self. We attended group meetings most of the day, and that's what helped so much. It's great talking with others who know exactly how you feel. I did feel somewhat like a prisoner. Our unit was locked down, and you couldn't leave at all...only to go eat in the cafeteria, and for smoke breaks for those who smoked. The times were set, and you couldn't leave except for those times. We were always escorted by a nurse. It made me feel a little like I was in kindergarten. LOL But...it was all worth it. If you think you need to go...then go!! If you have any specific questions...just ask.

Hugs,
Renee