Gone (Trigg poss...)
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| Fri, 07-21-2006 - 7:54pm |
He's gone... really and truly gone.
He didn't bother to call yesterday... I don't know why I even expected him to. When I finally got ahold of him on the phone this morning, it all came flooding out. Turns out he was out partying last night and he slept through my calls... he also claims he called me but that I never answered. (He claimed this ALL week, yet he never leaves voicemails AND I NEVER have this problem with anyone else. We even have the same cell provider.) Anyway... He had no answer when I asked him why he didn't even offer to come home to be here with me. He said nothing when I told him that his partying and video games were more important than my LIFE. I told him that he couldn't possibly love me because he was willing to let me DIE just so that he could spend a few extra days lounging around Florida. This really was an emergency situation... I needed him and he blew me off. I told him it was over and he launched into a "I'm not going to go through this makeup-breakup" speech... I told him that he didn't have to, because it was really over. I said good bye and then I hung up.
A few minutes ago, he sent me a text message like nothing happened "Are you feeling any better?" I responded... "I meant what I said. It's over. No back and forth. No next times. After this message I will never respond to you again. My life is worthless to you. You didn't even offer. You would have let me die. That is not love. I needed you. Partying and playing football were more important. That only makes me want to die more. You have no heart. I loved you. Good Bye."
I meant what I said... I will not respond.
I really wanted to wait to do this until I'd talked to my pdoc, but I really think I made the right decision. I mean, is it wrong of me to break off a relationship with someone who couldn't be there for me in my time of need? (I know he's in Florida, but he could have come back at any time and he could have at LEAST offered!) This has never happened before... I have never called him suicidal before... I really thought I could turn to him.
The pain is overwhelming... How do you recover from something like this? I'm already struggling with the bp and now I have to deal with the fact that the man I love, the man I gave my heart and soul to, didn't love me... he valued video games more than me... he was more concerned with going to the gym than he was with even checking to see if I was still alive... I am so broken :(

(((((((((((((Honey)))))))))))) right now you need to put the focus on yourself. You don't sound good in your post. The important thing right now is for you to stay safe. You have been through a traumatic situation tonight and that's not helping your bp at all. You may want to consider going to the ER either now or if you get any worse. You are talking about being suicidal......that's an indicator that it's time to go to the ER.
We want you to be safe. We care about you and want you to be safe. So keep posting here and let us know how you are doing.
Hugs,
Traci
Sweetie,
As painful as it was, it sounds like it was a HEALTHY decision!