It's 3:30 am...I'm up again...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2006
It's 3:30 am...I'm up again...
2
Sat, 07-22-2006 - 3:50am

Don't ask about the emcon, I just didn't know what else to put.

I know no one posts much over the weekend, I just needed to "talk" to someone- even knowing no one is listening- while I wait to see if the xanax I took calms me down enough to get a little sleep- I ran out of interest searching for online crisis support groups...now that's fun...by the way if you're interested, there are none, just phone numbers to call.

Sorry I haven't responded to anyone's posts lately. I've ready everything that is going on, I'm not really in a place to be very helpful. Please know that I am thinking of everyone and hoping that you are all feeling better soon. Sorry for the blanket statement- it's all I can offer right now.

Oh, it's me, Peg...just changed my ID. I was afraid someone I knew would find me on this board- funny, my last post here was saying how I have been a "functional" bipolar. What a freakin joke. I swear, I am the biggest con artist- actually, not a con artist- a coward. If I could only learn to be honest with myself I'd be a lot happier in life and a lot healthier! I told tdoc this week that I've been lying to myself about how bad things really are and she was surprised...actually, I don't know if she was surprised with that or that I actually admitted it? Who knows. Anyway, I kinda told her off in a letter, that I actually gave her the next day, saying I don't want her help anymore because I'm beyond help and I'm wasting her time, etc. Then yesterday I called her back apologizing and asking her to just bare with me cuz I'm not doing so well right now. Ugh. I hate when I do impulsive things like that. Oh, well. Not the first time, surely won't be the last. As long as she still sees me, I guess it's ok. Even if she doesn't, it will be ok.

Still feeling like jumping out of my skin, but the kids will be up in about 2 hours so I need to force myself back upstairs, even if it's just to lay down.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! Be well!

Hugs,
Peg

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Sat, 07-22-2006 - 2:28pm

Peg,


Just cause you're having a rough patch now, doesn't mean you're not a functional BP--you're just taking a detour for the moment.


We definitely understand about not posting, I think we've all been there--but just reading helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Sat, 07-22-2006 - 2:53pm
Hey there - did you get some sleep? How are you doing now? Thinking about you!
Love, Kelli





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