rage

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
rage
6
Sun, 07-23-2006 - 11:11pm

There's not a question here but I the thing is I'm scaring myself! Lamictal- doesn't help a bit. Lithium- only sucked the happiness out. Now I'm usually either crying or screaming or doing them both at the same time running around, throwing things, wanthing to break everything in the house and just HURT something. I feel like I'm going to end up like one of those perfect normal people who end up saying "I was insane!" in court. This isn't making sense I don't think but the thing is I just hate this so much! I know you all already know how much I hate it but just thinking that my whole life is going to be this way it's unbearable. I mean if I got to the end of all the drugs and none of them worked, i really wouldn't want to go on.

The thing is, the lithium works to sedate (depress) me, but I think I'm already gaining weight on it. And I can't take that... so I'm gonna stop taking it tonight. I hope that doesn't have any negative effect to just quit it.

And you know what really gets me? I'm a lucky girl. I've had an easy life. There's kids who don't have food to eat or a place to live. And I'm crying and throwing fits and wanting to die. Why? Who knows. Because my head is really messed up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
In reply to: meggem2005
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 8:58am

((((Hugs))))


it takes time to find the right med/combo.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
In reply to: meggem2005
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 9:55am

((((((((((Meg))))))))


I am sorry you are having so many problems with the meds and the rage. I have been there with both. If you feel the meds are making things worse for you then call your pdoc right away before stopping any meds. I am still adjusting to the Lithium and I have been on it now 2 months, but he increased it once since I started.


How many mgs our you on with both meds??


How long have you been on both meds??


It can take the Lithium 2-4 weeks to see a difference. Some people see a difference in 2 to 5 days. Some people take longer to get use to it.


Lamictal is a long process to build up to a theraputic level...at least 200mgs for a least a month or so...I was told by pdoc.


About the weight. I don't know what to say. I am already over weight and don't want to gain anymore but I need to think about my mental health first. I HATE taking meds...HATE HATE HATE it , so I can relate.


Hang in there sweetie----Tina




     ~ Tina ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
In reply to: meggem2005
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 10:53am

((((Meg)))) I understand how you feel. I've been trying to find the right combination of meds for going on 2 years now. But I am getting closer I think. I've got a new pdoc who takes the right approach by not changing all my meds at once but one at a time to see which one(s) are working or not. My first one would change all of them at the same time therefore it was impossible to say that.


As for quitting the lithium cold turkey, that is the one drug so far that I've been on that I've been permitted by my doc to do so. It doesn't have any bad side effects if you quit. I had to quit due to the toxicity thing. That sucked because it was working.


Are you on any anti-depressants? It sounds like you need one to counter the mood stabilizers. I'm on wellbutrin because that's (according to my pdoc) the safest a/d for bipolars. Sometimes it works, but right now it's not doing such a great job. As for the rage, I'm not sure which med that I take is to control that. I think there's a combination of them. I take zyprexa which is the primary mood stabilizer with depakote as the secondary, topamax which is to counter the weight gain from the zyprexa but also a stabilizer (I think), ativan, and klonopin. The klonopin is to help me shut down at night. And, I now take ambien for sleep. But there's a number of meds out there to help with the rage. The ativan helps me during the day and with my job that's a good thing.


Talk to your pdoc when you see him/her and see what can be done. There is a combination that will work for you. It just takes time to find the right one. Some people are fortunate and find one quickly. I hope that is the case for you. I don't know much about the lamictal because I got the rash from it. But I know there's others out there. So please don't think it's going to be this way forever. That's where we get into trouble. We start listening to the bp in our head and give up. That's something that we just can't do.


Hang in there and keep us posted on how you are doing.


Hugs,
Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
In reply to: meggem2005
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 12:03pm

Tina- I'm up to 300 mg of lamictal, I've been there for 8 weeks. It's just not working, I think I would know by now. Now the lithium... 1 week 900 mg. It's taking away the mania, I know it, but I can't handle it because of the weight gain. I just started treatment for all this 8 weeks ago and I've already gained 16 pounds because of everything he's put me on (seroquel, risperdal, lithium). It's so hard for me and I won't deal with any more. I think it just makes me more depressed and angry, so... no more lithium.

Traci- I think you're right about the antidepressant. If I could just get out of the depressed I think my mind would be so much clearer and I could deal with all of this better. I've been on Wellbutrin before and it worked, but he took me off of it to make sure it wasn't the cause of my mania (which it wasn't). I know it takes a long time to find the right med combo and I need to be more patient, it's so hard thouugh. I'm thinking tripetal may be good for me with wellbutrin because I heard it's supposed to be good for rage. I don't know about mood stableization though.

Thanks for responding to me. I always feel better once someone brings me back to reality. Sorry if any of this doesn't make sense. I'm feeling really nausous and my head is spinning. I hope this isn't lithium toxicity, I think my doctor said nausea was a symptom. Great.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
In reply to: meggem2005
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 12:23pm

Once upon a time I was on trileptal too. I think it was for the rage, but at this point I can't be certain. I've been on so many different meds I can't keep track of which one was for what symptom. At any rate, my problem with meds is that the docs find one that works and I go on it and then for whatever reason it stops working. I guess I'm med-resistant to a point. I don't know. The nausea and light headedness are side effects of the lithium. I didn't have the nausea with the toxicity though. I just had everything else. But don't panic. If you have stopped the lithium you will start noticing an improvement within 48 hours, if the lithium was indeed the culprit. At least that was the case with me.


I hope you start feeling better soon.


Peace, Love & Light,
Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2004
In reply to: meggem2005
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 6:08pm

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Meg}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. I have big rage issues as well. I also feel guilty about being upset about my pretty darn good life. I certainly would never tell you whether or not to take your meds but I would like to encourage you to discuss the issue with your pdoc as soon as possible. Let us know how you're doing.

Morgaine