DH troubles (triggers)

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Registered: 06-22-2003
DH troubles (triggers)
Tue, 07-25-2006 - 12:45pm

About 75 percent of the time my dh is a good husband, supportive, and all that. But that other quarter of the time, he manages to step all over my feelings. Even to the point that my mild moods changes set him off. This weekend was a prime example. I was irritable, and depressed (most-likely triggered by a/f waiting in the wings). I was going to post on here, but dh seen me doing so. He got real ticked and started saying stuff like "It's all in your head: You're not bipolar." Later he commented that the only reason I had trouble before, was the doctor gave me the wrong medicine for Restless Leg Syndrome. And that the medicine the PDoc gave me just made me worse.

Granted I do go through phases where I heavy research topics. In the past it's been things like the Titanic, the Challenger shuttle, New Madrid Earthquakes of 1811-12. Also if I have medical symptoms, I look them up on the internet so I know what I'm dealing with. I don't like to go to the doctor for something trivial. So I do my homework and find out the possibilties and what it's definitely not. I'm sure it's partly about control and partly to keep worry in check. I try to keep these phases to myself, but it seems to bother my dh anyway.

Of course I've alway been afraid to open up about feeling and such and least with people in real life. Internet makes it a little easier.

It's almost a pattern: I'm depressed, he gets angry, and the depression gets worse. Eventually he'll see he was wrong and apologize. There have been days where I'll just be a little depressed and he'll get angry (for various reasons) and I'll immediately start having suicidal thoughts. The battle of thoughts begins. One side thinking all negative and the "best" solutions to the negative thoughts. The other side trying to override the negativity and come up with better solutions. I don't think he realizes the impact he has on me. And I can't tell him. If he jumps on me for mild emotions, how can I tell him the more serious.

Well thanks for letting me ramble on.

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