Is my apathy really depression?
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| Thu, 08-03-2006 - 11:16am |
I'm beginning to wonder if my utter lack of interest in just about anything is, in fact, a form of depression? Despite the fact that I have a good job, new friends, a stimulating/frustrating/hilarious new cat and live in a very interesting part of the country, I barely have the energy to get excited about anything I do any more. I sit at my desk for 8 hours, keeping busy with all my duties and tasks but I constantly count the hours till I can leave - feeling "bored" the whole time. When I get home all I do is eat some crackers, feed the cat and watch TV all night. Even at the weekends, when I could go to the movies, drive into the mountains, do household chores, I seem to spend most of my time crashed on the couch, telling myself it's too hot or too expensive to go out.
I've never been particularly ambitious or driven, but this situation is beginning to bother even me. I have a new shrink and I'm slowly switching over to Lamictal from Tegretol so I don't know if this will change anything, but I don't think this can continue. At this rate, one day I won't even get out of bed!

Your description sounds very much like depression. If it is getting worse, please call your pdoc. The lamictal may in fact help with these symptoms, but check with your doc just to make sure.
I know the apathy is a tell tale sign for me when I start heading down and it sucks to be honest. It's like I know what's happening and what's coming and there's not a thing I can do to stop it. My depression is the worst of the two moods. I spend a lot more time depressed than I do manic. Although I wish it were the other way around. So, my pdoc has me on lithium, depakote, zyprexa, wellbutrin, topamax, ambien when needed, ativan when needed and klonopin when needed. I have a hard time with rage and irritability moods as well which is where the ativan comes in. Half of these meds I'm not even sure what they're supposed to be doing. I'd ideally like to get down to just the lithium and the wellbutrin. I think my pdoc is of the same mind, but it just is taking forever to start weaning me off all these other meds.
Anyway, like I said, if the apathy keeps getting worse, don't hesitate to call your pdoc. That's what he/she is there for. Managing your meds is a team effort - or at least it should be. I know with my first and second pdocs they managed and didn't listen to a word I said. This pdoc I have now is the extreme opposite. If I'm having issues with my mood or a particular med, she wants to hear about it. And then we work together to straighten the problem out.
Hope this helps a little. Just know that you are definitely not alone here. We're here for you. So keep posting and let us know how you're doing.
Hugs,
Traci
I know exactly how you feel. I've been the same way lately. It's awful! One thing that does help me is making myself get out of the house. It's hard, but once I'm out...I do feel better. I too have been spending way too much time on the couch...and that's not good when you have 5 kids!! Take care.
~Renee
it does sound like depression, but is this how you've been your entire life, or just recently?
I know everyone reacts different on meds, but when i was on lamictal...i didn't want to do anything.
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