New here and need some help...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
New here and need some help...
34
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 12:49am

Hi, I am new and I am not sure where to post my situation but this seems like a good place to start since I am really feeling so much better thanks to this board.

I ended a four month affair (only one month physical) 2 weeks ago, well I ended it during a texting conversation but tried to backpedal right away but he was done with me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 2:23am
Dear Tuff, welcome to our safe and caring home. I'm so pleased to read that this board has helped you and that you've made it to two weeks already. Those early days hurt like hell and it does get easier. I promise.

We were all fools during the A, we've all missed the "excitement" (although our racing hearts were really just our bodies' alarm systems warning us of danger), and we've all lost sleep asking "what is he thinking" and "is he hurting too". As you read other people's stories you'll come to see that its "the same circus, different clowns". The most important things you can do right now are to read in the healing library, post as often as you can, be kind and gentle with yourself, and start moving the focus of your thoughts away from him and onto yourself.

Yes, you were lucky that it "only" lasted four months. You haven't had to experience the devastation of a D-day or the regret of losing years of your life on someone who was never yours.

Do everything can to make this ending stick. Block his number, read the rules for LC at work over and over, prepare yourself to say "I can't talk" and walk away if he approaches you outside of work.

You can do this and we'll be here supporting you every step of the way.

Sunshine and smiles from Australia

Kat.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2008
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 9:25am

Tuff

Tynk


no contact means feeling free, not feeling guilty and looking in the mirror and finally, finally&n

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 9:34am

Hi Trying,

Im glad you have found EAS and that reading and lurking on the board has helped you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 10:02am

TTBT,

Welcome to our community and

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 12:07pm

Hi, Trying,

2 weeks out is a tough place to be - I'm 8 weeks out, right behind Katniss and yes, it does get easier.

I hope you're reading the Healing Library - I was here for 2 days straight, got absolutely no work done, but SO grateful for the resources here.

He doesn't miss you because he is a player and you didn't play by HIS rules.

Don't make someone a priority that is/was making you an option.

Oh, Tynk, that is brilliant - I'm going to post this in Iddy's "You guys Rock" thread.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 1:03pm

NSN,

In all of your readings you haven't read this before? "Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option?" It's been around for years and a long time favorite. I am happy that Tinker posted it since it seems to have resonated with you.

((Hugs))

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 1:11pm

Iddy,

It must have been in one of the lengthy "Wisdom and Insights" threads, LOL. And, I've read pretty much everything at HL.

YES! Definitely struck a chord in me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 2:56pm

HI Tryingtobetough-

I'm sorry that you are hurting.

Avatar for blueclouds1627
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 3:01pm
Tuff, hang in there. It does get easier. I work with my xAP, and it is very challenging at times. You have to get into a certain mindset to get through the days. I have found it very difficult to hear his voice. So, I put on my iPod, put in my earbuds, and crank up the volume. Drowning him out works for me! It's not going to be easy at first. You just have to remain strong and determined to do what's right for you and your family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 8:48pm

Thank you everyone for your responses.

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