EAS vs AAS
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| Sat, 03-26-2011 - 6:09pm |
I am new here. I an MM and asked before about whether this was for women only. Now I'm writing to ask what is the difference between EAS and AAS? I had a 15 month on-again-off-again A (really about 3-4 months "on" in that period) and made a break on Sep 1.There was a good- bye email in late Oct and then a brief exchange (ie she emailed and I replied) on Dec30/Jan1. Otherwise I have been NC since around Sep 3. It has been quite hard, and I am also wondering if by hanging around this forum, reading about A's etc I am prolonging it by keeping the A alive in my mind. There is not a single day I don't wake up thinking of her, but each day is a little better although there are occasional lows.
So I am not sure what to do and what the right forum is for me.

I have been a member, though somewhat inactive for a long time. I am a man.
There are different threads of thought on this and I have tried it many different ways. I have yet to find the answer.
I have tried blogging, tried posting and being involved, and even just reading.
I trust these people when they say it will get easier with time. I am old enough to know that time does heal all wounds.
I am now committed to letting time accumulate, and I know it will get better.
I read both, the AAS group,
We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.
Some people are from the school of thought that reading/posting here several months after their A's are over keeps it alive in their minds. We have had 3-4 regular posters recently decide to stop coming here just for this reason so it's a personal choice as to whether reading here is helping or hindering your progress. Some have left only to come back because they needed reinforcement to stay the course.
I'd like to officially welcome you to our community now that you have actually started a thread. ;-)
(1) the accountability - I know without a shadow of doubt that I would have slipped back into the A by now if it wasn't for the daily act of coming here and recommiting to NC, a stronger M, and a healthier me. I had tried to end many times before and failed every time. EAS works and that's enough for me
(2) the growth and insights - I do think about the A when I come here, but I'm not going round and round in futile circles or perpetuating romantic fantasies that could never be. My thinking becomes clearer and healthier every day and the things I am learning on EAS are helping me to improve almost every aspect of my life. If or when that growth stops I imagine I will gradually start to spend less time here and more and more time just enjoying my RL
(3) the possibility that by sharing my story here and offering my support to other newbies I may, one day, play a small part in protecting another family from the harm that I have caused to my own family and my xAP's family (whether they know of the A or not, I know that there were damaging consequences).
I'm not sure if any of that helps?
Hi Japrufrock and welcome to EAS!
The board is usually slow on weekends but things always pick up during the week, so please give this board some time as people will respond!
I dont know the AAS board but I do know this one...I have been here around 6 months...I came in when I was already 18 mos NC.