my 4 year A just ended...please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2011
my 4 year A just ended...please help
5
Sun, 03-27-2011 - 3:08pm

HI board..I'm new here under this name but have been on and off the boards the last 4 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sun, 03-27-2011 - 6:12pm

BFN,

The board is really quiet on the weekend, but I usually check in every few hours, so welcome to endings. I am sorry that XAP decided to end things when you have other stress factors

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sun, 03-27-2011 - 8:31pm

BFN, now that you've received iddy's wonderful words of advice there's really nothing more I can add other than to say welcome. :)

This is a wonderful place of safety and healing. As

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 12:44am

Hi BetterFutureNow2011,

It’s difficult when our means of escape is ripped away when we are not ready to play the hand that RL has dealt us.

If you have been around the boards for a while, you know the saying: One moment at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time and one day at a time.

Don’t try to handle everything at once that life is dealing you. Figure out what you can handle today. What is realistic for you to deal with? How about blocking his email and number from your phone if you haven’t already? That will allow you to focus on other issues that need your attention.

Come to the board to ask for support. I can guarantee you that the ladies and gents here will be more focused on what is in your best interest then xAP ever was.

How about using EAS as your support system instead of xAP? That is one way you could work through this very difficult time in life.

Welcome back to EAS.

Much love and big hugs,

E1

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 2:08am

Hi BFN

Im so sorry this has come at a time when you are stressed in other areas- my ending was similar.

In some ways its actally not a bad thing because you are now free from thinking 'what do i text now?' 'Should I say this, should I say that? 'What did he just mean', 'maybe he really meant x when he said y'.

You know what I mean- we all went through it. The analysis of every minute detail of communication- yours and his- is exhausting! At least you are free from that now, while you focus on the other issues in your life.

Hold firm- you are in for some rocky times. But I PROMISE you, it WILL get better and slowly you will find yourself again under all that rubble.

Much love!!

Iggyx

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 4:52pm
BFN -
welcome to the board. You've gotten a a lot of wise advice here - I know some of it will be hard to hear, but I hope you stay and make a real change in your own life. Not making the choice on your own, and having it made for you - regardless of your feelings is hard - I think you will find that the stress and drama related to the relationship will actually get better over time - the absence of renting headspace does wonders for us!
Much love,
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