Casualty of an Affair

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2011
Casualty of an Affair
6
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 12:04pm

Thank you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 12:29pm

Sweetie,

There is nothing you can do to reach her OR change her. She has to do this herself. Why does your father stay M to her? It sounds like a classic case of co-dependence, and sadly they are dragging you into the toxicity of it.

<<

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 2:17pm

So very sorry to read the pain in your words. Bottom line is you cannot do anything to fix your mother. She has to fix herself.

While it was very kind of you to be there to comfort your father, be careful not to be drawn too far into this. It is their M and their problem. You cannot fix it or fix either one of them. I know it has to be very difficult to stay out of it when you see the hurt and destruction but it is important to put up your own boundaries and protect yourself from becoming co-dependent in this situation.

If your father is struggling then he must go and seek out a support system like T (therpy)

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 4:11pm

First- let me say I am sorry for the pain you are experiencing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 4:43pm

Motive is not important - and neither is the calling out of anyone. Beauty - you've received some good advice from those who know - they are wise words.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2011
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 5:02pm

Thank you for the advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 9:28pm

Hi IDream,

You deserve much love and support.

You are what you consistently do