And the Fog rolled in...
Find a Conversation
And the Fog rolled in...
| Tue, 03-29-2011 - 10:31am |
The A fog rolled back in after my contact with him last Friday.
| Tue, 03-29-2011 - 10:31am |
The A fog rolled back in after my contact with him last Friday.
Hey Sunrise-
I'm glad you are hanging around.
No apologies necessary - you are here and that is what is important! many ((HUGS)) and lots of support coming your way.
Some time back Bodhi suggested a method for us to work on where we are vs. where we want to be - she suggested index cards wtih what we feel now and on the flip side what we want most. For example - one of mine was how much he made me laugh at stuff to see another view. And on the flip side - I wanted to laugh a lot, but I wanted to be heard when I was struggling with something too. What I wanted most - a relationship where I could laugh and be sad and both are perfectly normal and acceptable. It helped me to open my eyes to the manipulations of things - xAP wanted me happy (at all times) and carefree - so if I was struggling with something - he'd make a joke or two to get me out of it - and while it worked temporarily, the problem I started with was still unresolved.
Checking the rental of headspace is another thing to pull yourself out of the fog - I spent countless hours analyzing emails, phone calls, texts, etc. and for what - NONE of it matters.
If he really loved you - he would move heaven and earth to be with you and nothing NOTHING would stand in his way of creating an upright relationship with you. Hard to hear, but it IS the truth.
Hey Sunrise!!!
Hang in there gorgeous- this too will pass.
Stay strong, stay focussed and dont question the feelings too much. Ride them and reframe EVERY question in your head to YOU!
Iggy
I'm still here too, encouraging and supporting you every step of the way. Thanks for checking in to let us know that you're still on this journey with us. I'm reading "Not Just friends" tonight (great book for those of you who haven't read it) and am sending you lots of positive and healing thoughts.
Hang in there honey. We will get through this.
Kat
Thank you all.
How did you get his email, and WHY did you READ IT?
Come on Sunrise ... he is getting a response from you.
You interact, then come here regretful of your decisions etc ... EACH and every time you CHOOSE to have contact with him is breaking NC.
Are you perhaps feeling more positive because he stroked your ego by fishing for a response from you and you are feeling a false sense of power in not responding?
The fact that he is doubting whether or not you want him to go away or stay leaves me wondering how clear you have been about ENDING THIS AFFAIR.
I agree with TU. Are you in or out, Sunrise? You can fool some of the people some of the time, but...... (you know the rest)!! I'm wondering why you even think it's okay to come here to the board and admit you are still getting/reading emails from JAM. Do you not care how this effects others on this board who have blocked and walked?
<>
Say what? Reading his email is NOT NC. It's time to refresh your memory:
Can you pm me when you can please? You are one of the girls I was trying to PM a while ago but I can't seem to make it work.
Iddy and TU ( and all of us) love you and want to see you strong and healthy. You will have to ask yourself why you continue to engage when you want to be done. It's an important question my friend.
Iggyxx