Pins and needles, needles and pins......

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Pins and needles, needles and pins......
Tue, 08-22-2006 - 11:15am
Ok, last night meeting with tdoc and dh went really well. He learned some things, confirmed some suspected things, and most importantly to me - and I mean really important - was that he learned that I cannot help it!! I am not out to hurt or piss me off!! I try and try and try to control everything, every thought, emotion, reaction, word.... but I can't always do that successfully. He just can't take it personally. He also now knows, after a decade, that I really do love him. I think he's never been convinced (because of me and some past actions) 100% and I didn't mind that as he always "tried harder" (I know, that's bad) but now it's all out there. So that is a weight off my shoulders.
I have been really depressed lately and that's not usual for me. I am a Mostly Manic. So tdoc thinks I should get in with my IM to get meds till I can get in with pdoc on 10.18.06. IM is personal friend who doesn't know anything about this! Freaking out! I guess he'll have to know sometime but hell. So I've sucked it up and emailed him asking for meds. I am a nervous wreck waiting for his answer. Shock will be one thing. He won't believe it. I worked with him for 2 years. Anyway, need a xanax right now but don't dare take one at work.
Fingers crossed everybody - the journey begins....
Thanks, Kelli





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