me,by sus(trigs & boring)
Find a Conversation
me,by sus(trigs & boring)
| Sat, 08-26-2006 - 2:37pm |
my dr. replied to my 2nd correspondence by boiling it all down to MY misunderstanding & MY responsibilty(altho i find it hard to understand how the dose could be changed when my pharmacy has it all on computer)
he said he could recomend new pdocs.
i responded by saying he never explained the almost 100$ worth of unknown meds he sent me.
i said it screamed of malpractice imho & i told him if i decide to overdose on these phantom meds i'll be sure to mention his name in my note.
then i told him ..well..i said,screw you.
i am TIRED of everything being MY fault.why can't someone else say SORRY for a change.
yesterday i got a call from a campers mother asking if i had a cd she left behind.i said i picked up all the stuff the children left behind despite being reminded to take it & the mother asked me to take it to the sports camp asap.i said no..i wasn't home & took the woman's address.
today i get 3 hysterical calls from the kid that the cd isn't in her mail box yet.
i called her back & told her she didn't GIVE me the cd,she LEFT it behind.i'll return it WHEN I HAVE THE TIME.
the old susan would've said..oh i'm so sorry be right there.
the old susan wouldve put on makeup & smiled at her dr. & never said a bad word his way.
if you knew what i've been subjected to at the hands of mental health professionals...you wouldn't beleive me.
cuz,NOBODY DOES!
so maybe it is me.all me.everything.let horny john think i'm simply nuts.let heroic cheater mike say i'm certifiable to everyone.let nancy's husband say she can't be my friend cuz i'm twisted.let my boss say the same thing.let all the mothers in the schoolyard say it.let helen take all my money.let my brother live in a house without plumbing but promise to pay me back .let my husband repay me for the hole i repeatedly rescued him from.
let my h say...it's a new day.you don't have to mess it up like yesterday.
& let my mother tell me to suck it up.
let my father tell a joke or a grotesque story about one time or another when he tried to kill me.
i will never never never never see another dr.
anything i do or don't do will be for the kids.i don't give a **** about me anymore.as far as i'm concerned i'm already dead.
ventventventventvent
he said he could recomend new pdocs.
i responded by saying he never explained the almost 100$ worth of unknown meds he sent me.
i said it screamed of malpractice imho & i told him if i decide to overdose on these phantom meds i'll be sure to mention his name in my note.
then i told him ..well..i said,screw you.
i am TIRED of everything being MY fault.why can't someone else say SORRY for a change.
yesterday i got a call from a campers mother asking if i had a cd she left behind.i said i picked up all the stuff the children left behind despite being reminded to take it & the mother asked me to take it to the sports camp asap.i said no..i wasn't home & took the woman's address.
today i get 3 hysterical calls from the kid that the cd isn't in her mail box yet.
i called her back & told her she didn't GIVE me the cd,she LEFT it behind.i'll return it WHEN I HAVE THE TIME.
the old susan would've said..oh i'm so sorry be right there.
the old susan wouldve put on makeup & smiled at her dr. & never said a bad word his way.
if you knew what i've been subjected to at the hands of mental health professionals...you wouldn't beleive me.
cuz,NOBODY DOES!
so maybe it is me.all me.everything.let horny john think i'm simply nuts.let heroic cheater mike say i'm certifiable to everyone.let nancy's husband say she can't be my friend cuz i'm twisted.let my boss say the same thing.let all the mothers in the schoolyard say it.let helen take all my money.let my brother live in a house without plumbing but promise to pay me back .let my husband repay me for the hole i repeatedly rescued him from.
let my h say...it's a new day.you don't have to mess it up like yesterday.
& let my mother tell me to suck it up.
let my father tell a joke or a grotesque story about one time or another when he tried to kill me.
i will never never never never see another dr.
anything i do or don't do will be for the kids.i don't give a **** about me anymore.as far as i'm concerned i'm already dead.
ventventventventvent

(((((((((((((((((Suzi))))))))))))))))) I don't have any words of wisdom to offer here because I know exactly how you feel at the moment. And I know that no matter what I say, it's not going to change how you feel. But know that I wish you peace and calm. I know you're in a bad place right now and have been for a while and I really think a new pdoc is in order.
Once you get on the right cocktail you will feel much better and you can tell all the people that are making your life h(*l right now what they can do with it. You deserve to feel better, but that's only going to happen if you go to get a new pdoc and get on meds that work for you.
Hang in there sweetie. Call around Monday and see what you can find in the way of a new pdoc. If all else fails, go to the emergency room and get a psych eval for meds for temporary relief. You've suffered for too long. Keep us posted.
Hugs,
Traci
Suzi,
I know being in this bad place right now feels like it will never get better, but in time it will. The main thing now is you find yourself a new pdoc, you need meds in order to be there for your children. Like Traci said, go to the ER if you can't find a pdoc. I am glad you came on here and vented.
I am worried about you. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. Hang in there. I know you are overwhelmed.
Tina
~ Tina ~
suzi...hugs. don't know what else to say...you HAVE to see another doctor...you can't take care of your kids unless you do...you know that. who CARES what anyone else says???? we do NOT!!!! okay? screw them!!! you were on the right track with that...go with it, but find a new pdoc...
love u,
k.