Tell boss/co-workers that I'm BP??? Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2006
Tell boss/co-workers that I'm BP??? Help
9
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 12:16am

I'm currently home on short-term disability. A co-worker of mine saw the scars on my wrists and with sarcasm stated, "oh, what did you do try to kill yourself?" I just pretended that it was no big deal and made up an excuse that I fell in a freak ski accident. Yeah, silly as it sounds, it's the only alternative that I could come up with after all these years.

Unfortunately, his comment along with some of my struggles at home, did the trick of triggering me back into a low that I haven't had to deal with for over 6 years.

I'm so tired of having to hide from my bp. I'm so tired of fearing the stigmas. I'm basically tired of being me. BP is me, as much as I've heard "why do you define yourself by bp, you're a whole person away from that" but we all know that's full of crap.

I just don't want to go back to work now. The stress of constantly hiding who I am and being afraid that someone'll catch on is too much for me. I feel like I have to be ashamed of myself because other people have stigmas against bp, which then leads to think that life will never be back to the way it used to be, me as a non-bp.

Any suggestions?? If I don't tell anyone, then I've been called sneaky and on edge. If I do, then I might have to face another handful of bull, but at least the truth will be out.

I just don't know what to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 9:39am

In my experience, it's a bad idea to tell anyone involved with work that you are bp. That has bitten me in the butt so many times! Only tell if you are forced to! (Telling lost me one job, and made another a living hell).

And listen, hopefully, we all have lives outside bp. I consider it a problem I have, not my life. Being defined by one thing makes a person boring!

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 10:03am

I think it is a very personal decision that only you can make.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 10:29am

Hi there...I have a different view of this. I told. I did get some grief, from some very narrow minded co-workers...but my boss and some others were very supportive of my illness. When I need to be off, they understand why.

I know exactly how you feel about being tired of hiding, being tired of being you...

You are who you are. You can only do what you can do. You know what that is.

I wish you luck!

Many hugs!

Keli

Avatar for chilaili
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 10:34am
The only time I've told anyone at work is when I believed the BP was affecting my work and I had to explain that it wasn't because I was incompetent or lazy but because I have a medical condition that requires daily meds and which has some side effects. I also made sure I told a manager whom I could trust not to blab it all over the place or use it against me. In my current job I haven't told anyone yet but I've only been here since 1 March so I'm still figuring out who I can trust.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2006
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 11:19am

Thanks for the advice. I think we may be in a different situation though. You work with kids. I work with adults, a computer, and a phone. I'm hoping that they'd view me as less of a liability. People are so sensative when it come to children. Hope you don't take that the wrong way. I'm not full of any finesse lately. I just say what's in my head, 'cause that's all that I have energy to do.

I do currently define a lot of who I am with the bipolar. Unfortunately, the second I get into the groove of things and don't feel bipolar, someone says something that reminds me that things aren't going to change too drastically. If it wasn't for these dang scars! (I've looked into surgery and it's not worth the hastle for the little change that it would make).

Good luck to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 4:22pm

Personally, I wouldn't, it's none of their business.

Good luck, Kelli





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Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 8:12pm
i don't think you should.it's none of their business.
i have scars.so what?anyone asks i put my hands thru a plate glass window once upon a time.
you are NOT your illness.the sooner you get that thru your head the better off you will be.SERIOUSLY!
EVERYONE behaves in ways that others find odd at one time or another.you shoulda seen me at my summer job.
WITH KIDS.
AND working for another type of psychopath.
i was completely outofcontrol.
when it was called for i made my apologies or blamed the heat or blamed my boss & these people STILL brought their kids to me day after day.
i threatened the superintendent within an inch of his life.in front of an audience.
ok..well,HE probably won't forgive me BUT BIG DEAL.
even people without diagnoses get outofcontrol.act strange.lose it.
really.it's not their business & it's not who you are.
otherwise you might as well call everyone you've ever known & tell THEM that you finally know WHY you've behaved the way you have all your life(comeon,don't we ALL sometimes feel like doing that????)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2006
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:45am

I forgot to mention a key reason of why I'd be telling my superiors...I need to request telecommuting because being around the people at work will eventually drive me even more nuts.

I was thinking of just telling thema partial truth...to just mention the depression because it is the most difficult aspect of it all to me anyway.

What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 11:12am

I still think its a personal decision...I know not what you want to hear...but we can't make this decision for you.

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