Checking in and update...kinda long

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Checking in and update...kinda long
7
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 5:55pm

Today was my first day back to college. It has been a long time since I went, I guess about 3-4 years. My teacher seems cool. We are studying a lot of poeople on their theories, people like Frued, Erickson, Jung, Skinner, and a few others. I have 2 books to read also and do reports on and I will have other projects through the semester to do. So, it looks like I have a lot of reading and work to do. My professor seems nice...I hope my impression is accurate. I was nervouse this morning getting ready. I felt like a young child going to school for the first time, but I got myself together and told myself...hey, you have done this before...and it helped. It was hot today and walking across campus and to the bookstore and then back to where I parked my car(far away because of no parking) almost killed me. I never could take the heat and then having this weight on me doesn't help.


Mood wise, I am going up and down. But I think I am ok. My pdoc thinks I am doing great...glad he thinks so. He said, just like before, that I go up and down a lot for no reason. Well isn't that what BP is? Mood swings that have no cause? He said I am up for a short time and then down again for awhile and then back up again and so on and so on. Ok, tell me something I don't already know. He wants me to keep a journal of my moods and what is happening in my life, day, moment when I feel like I do. His goal is to get me feeling "normal" for 1 year.....WOW, I think he has HIGH expectations...this could take awhile so I hope he has a long life span...lol


He is a good pdoc but I feel like he doesn't understand the way BP affects me. Am I some kind a freak who can't even get BP right...LOL He seems puzzeled on what to

     ~ Tina ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 7:42pm

Good for you, going back to school! I too am returning to school tomorrow after a two year absence (not due to bp, due more to some situations too stupid to post here). I am scared too- this is the first time in my life I will have such a long commute. But, I have known others who have done it, so that makes me think I can, too. I am also thinking about what-ifs, but I am confident that once the semester starts, that those thoughts will leave my head as I concentrate on work.

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 9:30pm

((((((((((((Tina))))))))))) glad to hear that school is going well for you so far and that you have

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 10:58am

Beth and Traci, thank you both for your support and encouragement.


Beth...good luck at school. I know the fear but we will be ok.


Traci, yes, I am going for my degree in Psychology & Social Work. I hope one day I can be a tdoc and help others. I hope you r financial aid comes through. If it doesn't, can you take a hardship forbearence out with the student loan company?


Thanks again ladies.


Tina




     ~ Tina ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 3:39pm

I'll have to

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Fri, 09-01-2006 - 3:07pm

Hi! Glad to hear you all are going to school! I have a bachelor's degree in Sociology/Psychology. haha- is there a correlation between having BP and going to college for Sociology/Psychology??? I went half way through a Masters Program in Psychotherapy but I dropped out. I've been a Stay at home step mom for the summer, and now I am really thinking of going and getting a certificate in Medical Transcription where I could work from home and not have the ups and downs and stress of perfectionism and such that I was experiencing when I worked as a Social Worker. My mania came out as perfectionism and enabling and working 16hrs a day 6 days a week to be the best and yaddayadda until I crashed and couldn't really function. I just got diagnosed, so I haven't been on any meds or treatments other than Lexapro that I got myself for depression a few years back.

Anyways, way to go! You can do it!


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2006
Fri, 09-01-2006 - 4:58pm

The best of luck to you. It sounds like you're really in touch with your bp and how you react to life because of it. Just remember that because of all the "dark sides" that you have experienced, you have an insight that most "normals" don't have, so you're not missing out for not being "normal". You have a fresh perspective and a great strength for having gotten to where you are.

You don't have to fall off the wagon, but if you do, we're here to push you back on it along with your help. Learn as much as you can in your classes. That's all you can do. Why place so much pressure on yourself, right? You've gone through enough already. :-)

-Sara

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 2:18pm

Hi Tina,

Wow it sounds like with all of those theorists you'll be staying busy this semester. It's always nice to feel like the professor is a nice person, generally first impressions are accurate. I'm sure you'll do great!

Isn't it hilarious when the pdoc thinks you're doing great and your mood is just all over the place. I don't really understand how he can say that's BP and just the way it is and then say his goal is to get you normal for 1 year. Hey, if he can get that done all the best to him! Mine said his goal is to get me normal for 1 month. I guess he's a little less ambitious :)

I'm really hoping for you that you don't get too depressed this semester and definitely not suicidal. I forgot, what meds are you on right now? They seem to be working relatively well. I hope you learn enough in that psych class to get us all well, haha. Can't wait to hear more about it!!

Glad you're doing better,
Meg