3 Questions...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
3 Questions...
10
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 8:15pm

I would like to know more of you on this board and since I am so new I am just curious:

1. How long was your A?

2.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 8:32pm

Hi Tuff,

Iddy does a roll call every month or so, which is a great way to catch up with who's who and the progress we've made. The most recent one might have happened just before you joined? Here's the link: http://forums.ivillage.com/t5/General-Discussions/Time-for-a-Roll-Call/m-p/117103063/highlight/true#M148812

Will try to write more later - just need to make a deadline at work ...

Big hugs

Kat

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 8:47pm
Well Kat this is a new one :). I would still appreciate responses rather than continually reading older stiff.. it helps!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 12:27am

Ok nevermind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 3:08am

I'll play :)

A lasted 18mths

ended in Sep 10 but I broke NC a few times. I reset my clock the day I finished cyber-stalking him (yep real proud of that one) on Feb 14.

Changed me- yes. In some bad ways- made me obsessive, anxious, frustrated, less attentive at work and with my family! But FROM THAT has come good stuff-

* I am now in Therapy which is probably something i have LONG needed as I have suffered from depression and tend to be obsessive anyway.

* I am trying hard to live in the moment- which is a Godsend and a great thing to aspire

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 11:19am

Iggy, thank you for sharing

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 11:43am

I'll play too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 3:36pm

Thank you too for sharing!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 7:02pm
Heartache - love what you said about using guys as a way to get self-worth and now seeing them as a way to lose self-worth. That rings so true in my life too.

Tuff - sorry I didn't have more time to write yesterday. Bad things that came from my A were behaving in ways I thought I would never be capable of, breaking all of my feminist principles by showing appalling disrespect to another woman (and another mother at that), subjugating the happiness of my H and children to my shallow selfish desire to be desired, continuing with those behaviours after my H had pleaded with me to stop, neglecting friendships to be available in case he should text or call, the list goes on ...

Good things to come from the A were finding EAS, finally realising the value of what I had at home all along, learning to live and love in the present moment rather than in a fantasy world of make-believe, being forced to confront a lifetime of insecurities and unhealthy patterns of thought and behaviour ...

Hope you're feeling a little stronger and brighter today - you must be looking forward to some days off.

Hugs and smiles,

Kat



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2011
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 7:58pm

I had an A with a mm 11 years ago. I was 22 at the time

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 8:49pm

Welcome to the board, Jeannie. We always appreciate the wise words from those who have BTDT. Thank you for participating on some of these threads and I hope we read more from you.

((Hugs))

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha