New here. Just got 'referal'
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| Fri, 09-01-2006 - 10:56am |
Hi. I'm new to this board. I've frequented the stepmothers and stepparents messageboards here at Ivillage. I've lurked here a couple of times on and off, but haven't ever posted.
I have had my 'good week' and my 'exhausted weeks' as I have always called it. I got Lexapro for depression years ago, and it's really helped manage my behavior, but I can't decrease it like I want to. Anyways, I finally got "caught", as I keep calling it in my head, by my doctor today and told that I'm Bipolar and to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. I don't wanna be Bipolar. No offense to anyone here, no offense to the people I've worked with who are- I was a social worker- but the stress and the downs caused me to end up being a stay at home step-mother for now. I know its true, but I dont want it to be. I don't want to tell my husband, or my family. As long as I was taking the Lexapro at 20mg and not decreasing, I've been able to get by. I have 'down weeks' where getting house stuff done is even overwhelming, but I got by. I always knew the "good week" would be coming soon and I could get all the big stuff done when I was feeling 'good'. I don't see myself doing destructive stuff or being out of control.
Anyways, that's me. Hi. I look forward to meeting everyone!
Michelle

Michelle,
Welcome to the board--I'm glad you found us!
Hi Michelle
I think it's so funny, no offense to anyone here. Trust me, NONE of us want this bipolar crap. I just got diagnosed... 4 months ago I think. Because the evil LEXAPRO made me insanely manic. I was off of it in a record time of 5 days because I thought I was tarzan and wanted to fly from the trees and then was having conversations with my dog. Anyway, I'm glad that the lexapro just made you feel good enough to have a good time and not feel depressed. Are you rapid cycling now? That's what happened to me. We're still trying to figure it out... or my pdoc is, anyway. Well welcome to the boards! I love them, mostly to complain :) I'm sure I drive everyone crazy.
Meg
Welcome to the board. I am new here myself. I have only posted a couple of times but have found everyone to be really supportive. Like you I was on lexapro I would have great weeks but then I ended up very manic jumping off chairs running through hallways. I would be up for days at a time. The pdoc took my off lexapro in a matter of two days. I was sad to see it go. I am learning to live with my bp. I was very upset when I got the diagnosis of bp I don't think anyone picks it. Good luck
kay
I tend to be "in a good mood" for a few days or maybe a week, then I am just "crashed" for a couple of weeks. I don't know if that would be rapid cycling or not. When I'm in a good mood, I can take it all on, feel real good and happy, but I get irritable. When I'm "crashed" it is really hard to function. Sometimes its a strain to just take care of the house day to day and I just hold out for the "feeling better week". I'm in a "good mood" time period right now. I'm interested in my old hobbies, wanting to do stuff, feeling alert and sleeping alot less etc. On the down weeks I can and will sleep 10-20 hours a day if I am not woken up. I'll sleep all night, then sleep all afternoon while SD is at school, then get her at 3pm and take care of the house stuff in the afternoon before DH gets home. Now that I'm in the "good week" I'm running from 6am making a big breakfast for SD, and going on from there with washing windows and drapes, and grocery shopping, steam cleaning the carpets, etc. I plan ahead during the "down weeks" to do these things when I'm up and full of energy.
The funniest thing is, I was half way through a Masters Degree in Psychotherapy before I quit. And this diagnosis really surprised me. I mean, I'd been taking Lexapro for depression, but until the dr talked to me about it, I really did not realize that I was cycling like that. Just suppose I thought it was normal or something, even though no one else I know goes up and down like me. (deeeniaaal)
I really don't mind, and really like, the Up time though. I don't get all freaky or anything, I just get more clear headed and focused, and have more energy, need less sleep (more like normal sleep instead of my 12hrs), and am able to accomplish more (oh and I talk alot more and alot faster and sort of ramble when I'm in the Good Week Mood). I don't go running around spending money or running to bars or anything. Though I have in the past when I was in college. I'd be most happy if I could get something along with the Lexapro to bring me up a little more out of the 'down weeks'. Not full blown power-up-week but just not sooo dooown and slooow. Its like I have cobwebs in my brain for that week.