I think "Acceptance" is vital for healing...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
I think "Acceptance" is vital for healing...
5
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 2:01pm

i think I've finally accepted it - the fact that it's over, he's moved on and I must move on.

A few weeks ago, I found out xAP didn't come into

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011

Just reading that made me hurt for you, the wondering part I mean.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
<>

This is PROGRESS, sweetie! The emotional disengagement is ON! ;-)

((Hugs))
Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
trying,

Oh, I'm not at the "not bothering me anymore" point yet, lol. But, every day I am more and more convinced that that day will come. That day did was not even a reality in the first few weeks.

I liken this acceptance to grieving over any loss - like my camera, lol.

I held on to the hope it would come back because I really did love that little camera and was SO distraught, especially because it had some great photos I had not yet developed!

But, once I accepted that it wasn't coming back and came to terms with it , I stopped obsessing and thinking about it! LOL!!!! What a kooky analogy!

And, in the beginning I let the thoughts of xAP wash over me in waves, but now, I am past the grieving and want to stop the thoughts.

I read in HL (or was it here) about TAKING CONTROL of your thoughts. It's difficult but possible. Easier on some days/times, more difficult at others . . . But, NOT impossible...

Iddy,

Yes, 'emotional disengagement' - less caring/wondering if he misses me, thinks about me, wants me, ugh.

Focus turned to ME!
Avatar for blueclouds1627
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Love the camera analogy! Very easily puts things into perspective. I'm starting to finally turn the corner, as well.I try to turn off my thoughts when they go into overdrive. There seem to be daily challenges, but day by day I am learning how to maneuver those twists and turns. Hang in there NSN! It's getting easier. Congrats on the 9 weeks NC!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Never, look at you!! Nine weeks NC, taking control of your thoughts, and "barely curious" about how he's spending his day. Wow, you have come so far!

Hope Iddy's got a good supply of feathers ready, 'cos we'll be earning those tweener wings before we know it. :)

Big hugs to you.