Hate BP and ashammed

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Hate BP and ashammed
2
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 11:18am

Yesterday evening I was having panic attacks. I don't know why because I calmed myself down about school, but maybe I just thought

     ~ Tina ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 12:34pm

First of all, Tina...you are not a loser, or stupid, or anything else like that. You are just ill. That's precisely WHY i told my boss and certain closer co-workers about my BP. So I could be off and it not be a huge deal...you should do the same. There are certain accomodations that can be made for you in school too. Talk to a counselor there as well.

I am so sorry you had that episode last night. If it does not go away, you HAVE to call pdoc. You know that is psychosis. Stress from school, thinking so much about your relationship with Billy, lots of things could have stimulated your brain a bit too much and then you end up psychotic.

I am starting back on Risperdal myself. For my terrible intrusive thoughts...tried to fight it, and "deal" on my own, but then realized, why the hell should i??? You know???

So, you forgive yourself for today. Right now, this minute! Forgive yourself and deal with it. Email your prof and if you have to, call pdoc. Deal with it head on.

Its all we can do to ensure we are as well as we can be mentally.

I love you so much. I don't want to see you unhappy, or hurting or angry with yourself. Please.

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 1:20pm

Tina, have you registered with your school's disability services yet? If not, you should. They can be great when profs don't understand (at some schools, they can also be a joke, but at least registering with the jokes can't hurt.)

IMHO, telling a prof you are bipolar is not the same as telling a boss you are. I have a BA and an MM, and all during school, while I had some profs that didn't quite understand the bp thing, at least none of them held it against me (unlike bosses I've had).

So, do two things: 1) register with disability services, and 2) tell your prof. I should also say that while some profs I've had didn't understand bp, some understood beautifully and were very supportive.

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"