Can this be the end? Day 2 of NC - MM really needs your help
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Can this be the end? Day 2 of NC - MM really needs your help
| Sat, 04-02-2011 - 2:35pm |
Hi everyone and after spending quite a few weeks reading both MAS, EAS and touching on a few topics in the Healing area I've decided to introduce myself, especially as it's now such a painful time.
I've been in an A since

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Am having a low evening also and resisting urge to reach out to xAP. We can do this and will be thinking of you
Theyellowone
"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~
NMUK,
I'd like
It takes time and a lot of hard work, but you can heal from this A and live an open, honest, respectful, happy, healthy life again. I know you can. It's time to."switch back on to the outside world" and to be the father your son deserves. Welcome to EAS.
Kat
Welcome. Does not matter if you are MM or MW or OW around here. We treat all the same. You are going thru a tough time, the pain in your post jumps off the screen.
I think you did an amazing thing. I think you did what is best for both you and her. If you ever cared for her and your well being, its best that you let her go. You will feel this pain for some time. I am sorry to say. We like having men around, we need the male point of view. We are very different board than MAS. WE in NO WAY support A's or the way one thinks when one is in one. WE will support you, give you tools to fight thru urges to contact, we can share years of wisdom and insights from all those that came here before us.
This is going to be a lot of work, probably one of the most difficult thing you will ever do. But worth it, you want off the ride, well you got off. Now stay off. Being off while painful at first, will bring your mental health back...you will think clearly and without anxiety every day.
Leave her be, she is letting you go, let her, if she is M, then she can work on her M just like you can once she flushes your out of her system, if she is single, you have allowed her to find someone she can really call her own.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Hello NewmanUk
I am glad that you have found EAS.
Welcome NewMan to this group, and to the journey in front of you. It’s not an easy one. It is a tough fight. It is the fight for your life. Get real and get honest with yourself. Don’t try to fool yourself.
I have found that affairs are not gender specific. They affect us all differently and as such we handle them differently. I believe that the hurt that we feel has a direct relationship to how much feeling we had for our AP’s.
We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.
Newman
So many beautiful words have already been said here by the other posters, I have little to add.
Hi NM
Welcome!!!! I havent got a lot of time just at the moment but I will reiterate the welcomes you have received so far.
I think we can all relate to your pain- its horrendous! The pain is harder I think because of the NC element, but it is so necessary! Trust me.
The biggest tip I have is that the A was 95% about you! It wasnt that she was so great, so lovely, so perfect! It was because you were looking to make her that way! You created the connection, created her 'perfectness', created a 'perfect you' to be with her, and your mind would look for examples of your joint perfectness for each other- KWIM?
So this is about you! Why did you enter an A, why did you look to escape? What do YOU want in your life? etc.
Anyway this is where you need to be! You can talk about every feeling and you will get nearly 24/7 support from people that are in the same situation.
Big hug x
Iggy
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