Has he changed his mind?

Avatar for beautneon
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Has he changed his mind?
15
Sun, 04-03-2011 - 8:53pm

About 7 years ago I met this guy. We hit it off..had great chemestry but also had issues we couldnt work out so it ended there. Through the years he'd contact me on some personal site and I'd either remind him who I was and why it didn't work or just ignore it. Last week he did it again. First I ignored it. Then he wrote again. I stated my usual thing reminding him of who I was and our differences. He said there had to be something because I was such a magnet for him. I responded by saying too bad we couldn't work out our differences. He came back saying maybe we should try...we were older now. We chated and he surprised me that he had changed in some aspects which made me happy. He asked me to the movies and I said yes. Over the next few days he contacted me by IM and we chatted a lot. I know he had a busy week at work (the one time I got him to respond to my hello how are you email) He also had a family thing Sat night and said we'd have to go out Sunday night. I said no problem. Friday I emailed him asking him to contact me so we could make specific plans. He said...will try..may have to do it next week. I said ok..but also asked him to contact me so we could connect and chat. I have not heard from him since. My question...why would someone as interested in me as he says he is suddenly stop IMing and responding to me. Its like from constant to a sudden total nothing! I'm confused! My opinion even if he was busy he could find a minute to respond to me. Am I right?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 04-04-2011 - 9:39am

The reason he keeps coming back to you is because you had great chemistry, and because he isn't dating anyone else.

Can you tell us what "issues" you had the first time you dated? It would be important to know. Otherwise I feel lost giving you advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2008
Mon, 04-04-2011 - 11:15am

he said he will try...my thoughts OK he will when he gets a chance...sometimes life just gets busy dont call email or text for a few days...after that call not text or email..calling is more personal

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
Mon, 04-04-2011 - 8:48pm

He sounds like a guy who can't make up his mind. Maybe he started thinking about your difference, since you mentioned them a few times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Tue, 04-05-2011 - 7:57pm

I think you are right.

Denise

Avatar for beautneon
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Fri, 04-08-2011 - 8:11am
The issues at the time...he was newly divorced and just wanted sex. I didn't. Also we had some issues that involved sex itself which I won't go into details about. Now he said he is looking for more and sex is the icing on the cake. I was happy to hear that and I told him so. I don't think that is the reason I haven't heard from him. As far as I know right now..we have a date tomorrow night, tho I haven't heard from him again all week. But now there is a new wrench in the works as I see it. He has recently friended a new woman who is in our area...the right age group and also similar to my build. Should I be alarmed by this or should I just accept what my male friend tells me...we haven't even dated yet...we are not a couple...he has the right to check out other women? I'm going to wait to see if HE contacts me about our "date" tomorrow. If not he's history.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Sat, 04-09-2011 - 12:45pm

Is it possible that for him,

Avatar for beautneon
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sun, 04-10-2011 - 11:35am

Actually I did NOT hear from him at all! So thats what I did. I blocked him but not before sending him a very nasty message letting him know what I think and warning him never to contact me again! Right now I have a lot of hurt and anger to work through but I'll be ok.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Sun, 04-10-2011 - 4:45pm

If writing him a "very nasty message" really made you feel better then you are right, you have some serious problems to work through. Good luck with those.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 04-11-2011 - 2:36am

What I see is two plains of existence that is mutually exclusive.

HIM:

Goldfish

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Mon, 04-25-2011 - 3:32pm
I'm a little confused, however, the timestamp on this could be wrong. The time stamp on this last post of yours indicates that you posted it at 11:30 Sunday morning, and you state in your post that he "never" contacted you about your date Sunday night when you knew full well he had a family gathering on Saturday night and that he might need to change your date to the following week. Then you sent him a "nasty message" and blocked him on account of him not hopping-to when you asked him to contact you. That was probably a bit overkill but at least now you know for next time.

As far as your questions:
....."My question...why would someone as interested in me as he says he is suddenly stop IMing and responding to me. Its like from constant to a sudden total nothing!".....

People, not just women, who are successful in dating/relationships, know the value of anticipation and delaying and not jumping in too far ahead or too fast. When a man is acting a little out of control, calling all the time, wanting all your time, etc., it's usually a good idea for the woman to rein it in a little, not get too caught up in the frantic pace, or let herself get all swept away by what he says. Please note that the more he made you wait, the more anxious you were to see him. Use that TO your advantage next time, as opposed to falling in the trap again.

....."My opinion even if he was busy he could find a minute to respond to me. Am I right?".....

Well, actually my question to you is would you rather be right in life, or happy?

Better luck next time,

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