"they" say never to scream at kids BUT

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
"they" say never to scream at kids BUT
5
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 8:41am
i cannot handle it.
this parenting thing.
last year my kids missed so much school they were almost left back.my oldest was booted from the superintendant's program.
she promised not to cry wolf this year.
i HAVE to keep the younger 2 home for all day lice treatments.if the nurse sees one nit they'll just send them home.we haven't had enough time for total nit removal.my oldest seems clean & she's going to school.its her second week of the 1st year of jr. high.
when she realizes her sisters are staying home she starts scratching her head.when that doesn't work she claims its not fair..her sister doesn't have "that many" nits in her hair.
after explaining it to her she starts to clutch her stomach & cry & moan how sick she is.
she KNOWS that 10 absences in jr. high mean auto matically being left back.i explained that if i didn't love her i wouldn't care about that.she continues to follow me around or stand in front of me & claim to be sick.
that's when the screaming started.
who could help it,besides dr. phil.?
her dad was screwaming at her i was screaming at her & her sisters were crying hysterically.
it got pretty ugly for dealing w/ an 11 yr. old.i actually told her if she hated the rules so much i wouldn't even pick her up from school...let her find someone else to live with...see if they liked their rules better.my h was so livid he called her names.
it's too stressful.
my mom used to smack me around & scream but she's the 1st to put me down for not respecting sara'a rebellion & claims that screaming has the opposite effect & i'm just screwing up my kids.
i'm not having a good time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 8:46am

Suz...first of all, Dr. Phil is a fool...

Now...you should HEAR the screaming matches that go on at my house between me and my ds.

You aren't the ONLY ONE who ever screams at their kids, believe me...

Its over and done...forget about it and go on with your day...okay?

CALL THAT PDOC'S OFFICE BACK and get some meds to help YOU FEEL BETTER!!!

Then your kids will feel better too...

Love and Hugs,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 9:14am

I so agree with Keli on this one....girl I was just throwing a fit at 6am two days ago.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 11:56am

Suz-


You are under ALOT of stress right now...maybe too much. Screaming at your kids is going to happen. I don't personally know anyone who hasn't yelled at their children out of stress and the kid getting on their nerves. Don't be too hard on yourself.


CALL A PDOC & GET MEDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Tina




     ~ Tina ~

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 5:54pm
yes,you are all right & i am over it.
thanks..i actually feel normal thanks to all of you.
i called the pdoc & i see her at the end of the month.(i like taking less lithium tho..i feel as tho i lost weight.i also feel less..well..blah)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 12:44am

I agree that parents feel stress and are going to hollar, but we have to set boundaries and limits on ourselves. Name calling and threatening to leave the child to find somewhere else to live isn't okay. Does that make someone a bad parent? Of course not! We are human, we're not perfect and we're going to make mistakes, but we have to acknowledge to ourselves that we did make a mistake and work towards improving the behavior.

When the child gets up in front of you being dramatic holding her stomach and scratching her head, try saying something like "I love you DD, now go to school." in a calm, firm, normal volume. Then she'll most likely moan and groan and whine again. The next statement say only, "Go to school." in a calm, firm tone in a normal volume. Each time she pleads, repeat only "go to school." nothing else in that same low volume firm voice. no elevated volume, no screaming. She's going to go to school and you won't be screaming and escalated along with the entire family screaming and crying.

Best wishes!
Michelle