Player or not, the man was/is married. His being around the block a few times with his students has no real bearing on the fact that he was a MM, and that you made a choice to "play" with him.
Definition of player: A man or woman that has relationships with more than one person at once but commits to none and in that process ends up hurting those involved. Makes the other person think that they are the love of their life with no intention of following through. Generally happy until they are caught.
I do have to say that I was the "player" in my A. I remember when my XAP told me that he had met someone. I told him simply to get rid of her. How awful (ugh!)
It gave me some sense of sick power to know that I had that kind of control over a man. I remember thinking to myself that he knows I'm M and he signed up to be a second wheel so he shouldn't complain. I was in a very bad state of mind at that time. That is why I continue to read posts on EAS and pray that I never slip into that kind of abyss again. Players are just empty ppl trying to fill a void within themselves. Also, as Iddy said when you know a player is M you shouldn't let him pursue you. Both parties in an A are equal partners in crime feeding off of each other's egos.
Player or not, the man was/is married. His being around the block a few times with his students has no real bearing on the fact that he was a MM, and that you made a choice to "play" with him.
I too am the recipient of the Bad News Club - I was involved with a playa-
My xAP is one charming snake.
what'swrongwithme: That is all so true. We are just roadkill.
Hi Jeannie,
That 'Player' cross my mind too during my soul searching moments after i had enough.
I'm really proud of the turn this thread has taken!
I do have to say that I was the "player" in my A. I remember when my XAP told me that he had met someone. I told him simply to get rid of her. How awful (ugh!)
It gave me some sense of sick power to know that I had that kind of control over a man. I remember thinking to myself that he knows I'm M and he signed up to be a second wheel so he shouldn't complain. I was in a very bad state of mind at that time. That is why I continue to read posts on EAS and pray that I never slip into that kind of abyss again. Players are just empty ppl trying to fill a void within themselves. Also, as Iddy said when you know a player is M you shouldn't let him pursue you. Both parties in an A are equal partners in crime feeding off of each other's egos.
mom: Yes, I do think players and other who cheat do enjoy the power they weld.
Getting your dignity back IS learning the lesson and never doing it again-
Haven't we all learned something valuable?