to the point..... pos trigs

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
to the point..... pos trigs
6
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 1:03pm

I am at the breaking point again have been dealing with the depression again and really thinking about bad thoughts. this is so confusing to me, all the ups and downs and in betweens. I am working on getting my children back into public school, I never get a minute alone but yet I am afraid to be alone. I want to die, but am afraid for my children I love them all yet again I am sick of them. how can a mother be sick of her children I know I am a horrible mother. have tried medicine for the depression and am on Cymbalta and it isnt doing any good so wat is the point of taking the stuff, other then it is helping me lose weight, still want to lose around 30 pounds then maybe I will like the way I look. sorry this post is going no where.

Mary

Mary
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 1:08pm

Mary...honey. I KNOW what you mean...you have to fight for every day, every minute...its not fair and i hate it so much too, but we have no other choice. I too am sick of my son...I love him with all my heart, but the older he gets the meaner he gets...but i would never leave him alone.

You CAN do this...if I can do it, you can do it...

What about Lexapro? Have you tried that a/d? Cymbalta made my cycles worse...

I'll check back in with you later!

Love you,

keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 1:10pm

I get sick of mine too. It's a dirty little secret even though we didn't stop being our own people just because we had them. When I saw that you home schooled, I thought "Really brave woman!" We can only do what we can.

Many hugs Mary, Kelli





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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 1:45pm

Mary,


If it's any consolation--totally "normal" people feel that way about their kids sometimes too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 2:34pm
Lexapro worked for a while then stopped and it made me gain a lot of weight, I cycle so much anyways but wow today and the last few days have been horrible, I have had no energy and been so depressed, that I am finding it so hard to go on really.
Mary
Mary
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 2:36pm
I had no choice but to home school bc the schools here suck but I guess it is better then what I am doing right now, I am trying to get them all caught up so I can send them back all but my 15 yr old, and she just refuses to go back.
Mary
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 2:49pm
I have been on the Cymbalta for over 2 years now, and it jsut isnt working, I dont have a Pdoc so I just have to throw things out to my medical doc and see if he will do something for me. the Pdoc that we have here in town is a nut case and he only works with children and the other one we have is totally not for me. I also have issues with my weight and if I see I am gaining then I automatically go off of it. or if I think I am gaining wt then I go off of the med.
Mary