Restlessness, agitation - poss trigs

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2003
Restlessness, agitation - poss trigs
1
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 10:51am

Hi all. I've posted here a couple of times before. I've never been diagnosed BP, but had mention of cyclothymia. I've only done couseling sporadically, the last time just to satisfy my GP and I only went 1 time then. I'm on Paxil 40 and Depakote 1000 and for the most part like to believe I'm doing OK. But now for the last week or so I have been in such a bad place. I'm restless, agitated, and just mad at the world. I have a job at home so that I don't have to be around people that much (transcription), but I also get paid on production. I can't force myself to sit and work. I've wondered before if I have ADD, but who knows. My mind is racing around about what all I could be doing. Yesterday I cleaned all my drawers out in our bedroom and my closet and threw away about 30 pairs of shoes. I guess I feel there is so much clutter in my mind if my house is free of it, it kind of balances out. I think I put on a pretty good show because my family is oblivious to how I really feel. I don't tell anyone because they just say it's because of stress of having kids and a husband and a job, blah, blah, blah. Other people must handle things better than I do.

FYI, my dad was an alcoholic, as were most of his brothers and nephews. He started drinking in his early 30s and died at 43. It's kind of scary, but now I completely understand why he started drinking. I don't drink, but can certainly see why he did.

So, I guess my question is what do I do? I know this will pass because it always does. Sorry to ramble. I guess I just needed to vent.

Thanks,
camp

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 10:34am

Hi Camp, I know what you mean about the restlessness and agitation. I was really agitated and irritable yesterday for no reason. I had to work really hard to 'be nice' and not snappy. The only advice I have, that tends to work for me, is to take a couple deep breaths, and repeat to myself (silently or aloud) "this will pass, everything is okay". I tend to get obsessed with cleaning the house when I feel like that too, and people talking gets on my nerves (mainly the child because she talks so much and so loud and just talks to hear herself talk sometimes hehe-sometimes I just have to tell her that I am interested in what she has to say, but she needs to give me a few minutes of quiet time) and then also like everything is too cluttered - in my head and thus in the house. Sometimes I stop myself from cleaning something and leave it intentionally and tell myself "the world won't end if it isn't cleaned, it will still be there tomorrow."

Goofy, I know, but it seems to work for me. But, I'm still always in fear of the agitation-days, or really in fear of the "down-days". Because I know they're coming.

I am planning on doing transcription too, so I can work from home!

--I don't tell anyone because they just say it's because of stress of having kids and a husband and a job, blah, blah, blah. Other people must handle things better than I do. --

I feel like that alot too.

((hugs)) remember, this too shall pass.

Michelle