Feeling fragile today

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Feeling fragile today
11
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 7:38pm
Hi all

Not much to say. I'm posting because I feel weak today and literally feeling a strong urge to text him.

But I know this feeling has nothing to do with him. I feel flat, stressed and I'm looking for a hit of those feelgoods. Distraction, buzz, escape. That's what I'm looking for. Not the exAP and not the A.

Saying a prayer for strength :(

Iggy
You are what you consistently do

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 8:27pm
Iggy, you rock and you've been doing so well! I have those moments too but try to remember the stuff you HATED about the A and exAP... always helps me :) I will check in later and see how you are!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 9:48pm

Iggy, These feelings are ephemeral and they will pass. What's real is you and the sunshine outside and the grass under your toes and the smiles of the people you love.

"If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress." You're on the right path my friend, you just gotta keep on walking and we're right here with you cheering you on every step of the way.

Big hugs and smiles,

Kat

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 11:03pm
Iggy,

Woman, you are NOT going down this route again - even in thoughts. You are so strong, courageous & committed to moving on, to being healthy and to your Real LIFE. You don't need an escape - YOU NEED TO BELIEVE.

Run head on into your real life Iggy - don't be afraid. You are worthy. You get to be happy.

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
Thu, 04-07-2011 - 12:17am
Pretend it's ok to text him. What in the world would you say at this point? I'm sorry? (Nope.) I miss you? (lame.) I hate you! (Yeah so.) Shag? (no way) lol!

Seriously, I play "this what if" game with myself too. (while literally sitting on my hands) Nothing you could say in any text would be worth it and the outcome would NEVER be what you could hope for even if you knew what you hoped for and I suspect if we are anything alike you don't know what you'd hope for. Eventually you can't figure out what you would say and the feeling passes. Sometimes it helps just to play these senarios out to the end, mentally of course.

I've been battling these feelings a lot lately too. 6 months of nothing from him, the curiosity is killing me. I'm not completely sure where they are coming from.

Xo
Chechi
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Thu, 04-07-2011 - 5:18am
Hold on iggy. You cam and will resist this.

Know exactly how you mean - feeling flat today after 2 good days. Am tired so always feels worse.

Stay strong - thinking of you.

yellowone xx

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Thu, 04-07-2011 - 5:54am

Hi again

Thank you SO much TTBT, Kat, TU, Chechi and Yellow. Thank you thank you thank you!

It never ceases to amaze me how you can be trudging along with this post-A journey, reading, journalling, trying to be more 'in the moment',

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Thu, 04-07-2011 - 4:38pm
Good girl ! U made me smile :). It's nice that everyone here can share in each others' small victories!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2011
Thu, 04-07-2011 - 5:04pm

Hi Iggy,

I just logged on today and saw your message and the wonderfully encouraging responses you've received and I just wanted to chime in as well :) You're doing so great Iggy and deserve nothing but the best. You will continue to make progress despite these bumps in our paths. You will get through this because you have that determination to do so. You've got it in you Iggy. Next time the "lows" hit, just take a deep breath, come here, reach out...we're all here for you. One foot in front of the other Iggy..you're doing this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
Thu, 04-07-2011 - 7:57pm
That's right, Iggy - it's the "feelings" you miss and good for you for recognizing it.

H was totally getting on my nerves the past few days (on vacation, together 24/7) but I would NOT allow my mind to escape to that BS xAP world.

I stayed focused in the HERE and NOW and dealt with it and was GRATEFUL that I HAD this rarely-annoying H to deal with!!!

I love how you come here for support in your weakness and not make excuses.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Fri, 04-08-2011 - 9:51am

Thank you guys xxxx

Yes I come here when I feel weak- which is a lot. Im definately (although in slow-motion inch by inch) getting on top of this. But some days it takes all the energy I can muster just to stay focused on what I really want- which is my true and soulful contentment with my imperfect life :)

Iggy

You are what you consistently do

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