suddenly not sleeping....what the...?
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suddenly not sleeping....what the...?
| Tue, 09-26-2006 - 10:13am |
ok......finally see a new pdoc tomorrow.tho i would happily pay 400$ for an appt. w/ old pdoc just to tell him off.
but i won't.turns out he's losing patients in droves.
it wasn't me...it was him....whew.vindication.
anyway.sat i could not get out of bed.(xcept to eat of course)my body stopped working.
don't get me wrong.i'm very tired.very very tired.i actually scared myself driving the kids to school.
but this is what happens.
i still have rozerum & seroquel so i take them at bedtime AND i get tired.very very tired.
then my mind starts to go weird.either i'll start having some very painful memories....it can be almost anything too.but it hurts.& i'll do the trick i've perfected to get them out of my head.then i'll try to think of something else,but i can't stay on track.like making a list in my head.then i'll think of something & i'll start to drift & then it'll turn into a nightmare which will wake me within minutes.then it'll space off to every 1/2 hour or so.
suddenly i cannot sleep w/ my back to room either or i get spooked.
(in the old days i would've run right to my psychic & let her charge me a couple of thousand $ to get rid of whatever demons have appeared in my home or on my shoulder all of a sudden.too bad i got rid of that bad habit too late.stupid stupid stupid.)
anyway...by the wee hours the puppy is awake & screaming & i take him to bed untill he wants to get up again & then it's useless to go back to sleep.
MY QUESTION.
could this be b/c i was forced to cut back to 1/2 my lithium & i ran out of my cymbalta.?could this just be a med change reaction????
but i won't.turns out he's losing patients in droves.
it wasn't me...it was him....whew.vindication.
anyway.sat i could not get out of bed.(xcept to eat of course)my body stopped working.
don't get me wrong.i'm very tired.very very tired.i actually scared myself driving the kids to school.
but this is what happens.
i still have rozerum & seroquel so i take them at bedtime AND i get tired.very very tired.
then my mind starts to go weird.either i'll start having some very painful memories....it can be almost anything too.but it hurts.& i'll do the trick i've perfected to get them out of my head.then i'll try to think of something else,but i can't stay on track.like making a list in my head.then i'll think of something & i'll start to drift & then it'll turn into a nightmare which will wake me within minutes.then it'll space off to every 1/2 hour or so.
suddenly i cannot sleep w/ my back to room either or i get spooked.
(in the old days i would've run right to my psychic & let her charge me a couple of thousand $ to get rid of whatever demons have appeared in my home or on my shoulder all of a sudden.too bad i got rid of that bad habit too late.stupid stupid stupid.)
anyway...by the wee hours the puppy is awake & screaming & i take him to bed untill he wants to get up again & then it's useless to go back to sleep.
MY QUESTION.
could this be b/c i was forced to cut back to 1/2 my lithium & i ran out of my cymbalta.?could this just be a med change reaction????

yes yes, and yes...it probably IS due to the meds...you're manic, i.e., you are not sleeping...i hope the new pdoc will be better and get you some relief...just be careful, knowing you're manic right now...
k?
Love you,
Keli
then i'll get angry & freak.
is that rapid cycling?
i know you experience it.is this what it feels like?i don't know i've ever felt this particular roller coaster b/f(& i don't like roller coasters in general)
BUT at the same time i can see choices i have made & clearly cringe at the thought.i can't imagine that i ever thought them at all rational..so i would THINK i'm in a rational state of mind while all this is happening.
ugh my brain HURTS!
i totally know what ur saying...about thinking you're totally rational, but in reality, you're so not...that's mania...
then the depression, then the anger/rage, irritability, not being able to sleep, then the paralyzing depression...and so on...and so on...
Yes...that's rapid cycling.
Then it gets so fast sometimes, that you end up in a mixed state...when you are everything all at once...that's the WORST.
When do you see the new podc?
i'm nervous!!!!i mean..i feel awful but i'm losing weight & very afraid of going back on a porker pill.if i'm gonna gain i'd rather do it on cake.
also the idea of going over it all over again & even of TRUSTING someone who may behave no better than any bf i ever had.....
so i made a detailed list of all the meds + the ones i cut back on when i ran out.& whether she wants to read it or not i also noted down how i've been feeling over the past week.
but wow...this awful.it is literally what a chicken must feel running around after its head is cut off..only that sounds better.
next time you go thru this rapid mind **** i'll be the 1st one there for you.
love ,sus
thanks for helping me put it in perspective
i completely go through this every single day really. just sometimes its worse than others.
i'm really proud of you for being so proactive and making a list of meds, and its a great thing you've been noting your mood swings...it helps for the pdocs to see what we go thru on a daily (hourly) basis.
you can do this...if you need to be back on li, then you need to be...its better than being so incredily insane...kwim?
li is the only med that helps me...the ONLY one...i have to get that thru my head, and i HOPE this time i have...course the lexapro helps a lot too with the depressive side...and my ativan in my life saver...
you'll get there...but you have to be willing...
xo
(((((((((((((((Suzi))))))))))))) I totally agree with Keli. It definitely sounds like it's the meds combined with