help me.i'm destroying my family

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
help me.i'm destroying my family
12
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 8:57am
i was all prepared to write an essay here on what occured this morning during my 3rd rage of the day.a "was i right??" essay.
last night my oldest said i was acting weird cuz i accepted a social engagement for fri aft & it was so unlike me.
today i took all the shoes my middle dd BEGGED me to buy her & never wore so that she could instead spend her entire existence in a pair of sneakers w/ wheels in the heels(from dad)& just threw them in the garbage.i told her she was wearing the ***%^$( heelies till she could afford to buy her own shoes & if she couldn't keep the &$%#$ laces tied she could go without shoes altogether.
i took all the clothes she begged me to buy & gave em to good will & told her NEVER to ask me for a freaking thing.
needless to say everyone was crying & h was screaming why did i have to start the morning like THIS again?
in the end i confiscated her wheels telling her they were for FUN not daily use & if i was having so much fun in MY shoes i certainly would NEVER want to wear another pair either.
i was sooo out of control.& that was the THIRD rage.
i'm scared to see this dr. today & if you had my history w/ pdocs you would be too.
i'm smoking & i haven't in years.
that's how little i care about myself & i guess my kids too. I HATE MEDS.i hate meds.i think meds screwed up my life way more than the bp

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 12:15pm
Any child is going to beg for new clothes and shoes, and in the end they will typically wear the fun shoes. Did you feel unappreciated for all you have bought her? Did you feel jealous that she wore the shoes that her father bought her? Did this lead to taking all her clothes and shoes, then taking the 'wheelys' shoes as well? Feeling unapprecited or jealous are normal feelings. Taking all her belongings is not appropriate, but you know that or you wouldn't have posted. Legally yes you can do this, but is it the way you want your daughter to feel? Try to put yourself in her place, having this happen takes away any sense of control and instills resentment. You're going to have to control your behavior otherwise it is going to present in your daughter. She will learn how to handle anger and frustration by your modeling.


Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 1:47pm
no..it is not jealousy..absolutely not.
it's a total disregard for what she is asked to do.
there is a lot of(untold) narrative behind the story of shoes & clothes but it happens to be about saying you'll do one thing & blatantly doing another.it's really a more complicated tale than you would imagine.

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