my BIG FAT BIPOLAR MOUTH & the police

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
my BIG FAT BIPOLAR MOUTH & the police
3
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 4:51pm
well..it caught up with me & apparently a cop isn't the right person to tell off.
not funny not pretty not great that my kids were there & certainly awful that the poor little girl im supposed to pick up thought i had abandoned her.
its very very hard when who you are finally stares you right in the face.
much more effective too than your mother making you watch "the upside of anger" hoping you get the hint.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 5:53pm

Suz, Why were the police involved????


You are definately manic and it sounds like with the police starting to get involved you could be on your way to becoming arrested one day. Is this what you want??


What are you feeling so angry about? What are some feelings that you are feeling besides anger...hurt,sad, betrayed...etc.?


I have been in rages that weren't pretty and it took taking a REAL good look at what I was doing to myself and others to make me stop.


Do you feel your meds are strong enough? I would get on the phone

     ~ Tina ~

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 6:27pm
i know you do.
i'll tell you the story as i FELT it.it really wasn't that bad.
last year everytime i parked outside school the crossing guard told me to MOVE.just me.the off duty firemen & other people(especially men)were never told & never so nasty.it is impossible to park to pick up your kids near the schools in this neighborhood.sometimes the meter maids wait around to stick you w/ 115$ ticket.my mother never beleived me but had a fit when SHE got one.
i avoided that area & that crossing guard.
when they changed the school schedule & the busses began their pickups then NOBODY was alloed to park there.
only on fri do my kids get out at the regular time.i noticed people were parking & double parking there & the guards weren't going nuts at all.
a pta member told me that the busses altered their schedules & we could pick up the kids there.
so today i went to my old spot which was the only one even available.a cop stops & tells me to MOVE.
ok....
i said...why me & not THEM,HUH??????
this is where the blind kids get picked up.
oh my...i said but it came out OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY.
i cannot remember verbatim what occured but i said something i shouldn't have & he said i could give you a summons & i said so go ahead!
the bantering continued longer than it should & the gawkers were bothering me way more than the cop.i "asked" them what they were looking at.
i had no idea what my registration looked like so i gave him the book 7 told him to find whatever it is he's looking for.
he aasked me if i ever got a summons 7 i said no but i couldn't figure out for the life of me WHY he was picking on ME & not THEM.
i did apologise but it still wasn't coming out in the right tone.i WAS on the verge of hysteria.
he told me to turn the corner & wait for him.i TOLD him where i was going.
he never came back.
i called my h who told me to leave b/c i knew the poor 11 year old was waiting outside jr. high not knowing where i was or my dd was & convinced we had forgotten her.
my h called me back screaming at me & my dd had to hold the phone while i shouted cuz i was driving.i realized i had no idea what papers he took.i didn't know where my reg was & my h went ballistic.
by the way.the cop left & never told the other cars to leave.
i deserved it.
when i got there my friend's kid was w/ the dean & out of her mind.
so...
thankx for listening..gotta get in that darn car & pick up my youngest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 6:38pm

No one likes to hear it, but you are on a fast paced downward spiral that is going to end very badly for you and your girls. Yes, Bipolar is an illness, but it is not an excuse. You are the one that has to take control of yourself and the situation.

I don't want to see it get any worse for you and your family. If you have to, go to the ER. You know you love your family and yourself enough to take the steps necessary to take care of yourself and change this behavior. You CAN do it. I know everyone here believes in you, now you need to believe in yourself and your ability to do this.