3rd Try at NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2011
3rd Try at NC
10
Sun, 04-10-2011 - 2:37pm

I am almost embarrassed to say I am back.

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sun, 04-10-2011 - 3:33pm

Don't ever feel embarrassed here. You have

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2011
Sun, 04-10-2011 - 3:47pm

Thank you RBM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Sun, 04-10-2011 - 4:54pm
Hi daisyway3

Welcome back. You can do this. You are in the right place and all will help. You have blocked and walked - keep going and don't look back.

theyellowone x

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sun, 04-10-2011 - 4:59pm
Daisy, welcome back honey. I reckon 3 is the lucky number! I had a gazillion half-hearted "I want what's best for you and that means we shouldn't be doing this" type endings, two serious efforts at NC (which both failed he said that I "owed him" one last conversation to explain my feelings and figure out a way to be friends), and the third time round the ending stuck - well so far anyway :)

You'll know when you're ready Daisy. You'll know when ending is no longer an option but a necessity. You'll know when the humiliation of going back one more time is gonna outweigh the feelgoods. You'll know when you've used up all your "get out of jail free" cards with your family and have to stop before you lose everything you hold dear. You'll know when it's time to save yourself.

Good luck, and congratulations on getting a new phone number. That's a huge step forward. Read lots, post often, and take care of yourself

Kat
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sun, 04-10-2011 - 6:45pm

((Daisy))

Welcome back. My gut tells me that this time you are going to stick with NC and close this chapter in your life once and for all. I read sincere determination in your post, and look at the major steps you have already taken. You can do this, Daisy, and we are all right here to help see you through the withdrawal and emotional swings that will wax and wane over the next several months.

It sounds like you have been through some serious stress this last year, and adding an A to that would push anyone over the edge. Since you have already spoken to your H about your current state of mind, there is no better time than now to schedule an appointment with a T.

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Sun, 04-10-2011 - 8:08pm
Welcome back ... without doubt, if you're committed to ending, then you CAN do it. We are ALL here for you - believing in you.

I stumbled too. Each time I picked myself back up, and recommitted to my life. This week I will celebrate 1 year of NC ... but the memory/knowledge that one year ago I counted moments of NC lingers as an important reminder of how AWFUL detoxing from the affair was - and that I really COULD NOT be further from those feelings today.

Please know you CAN & WILL save yourself and your life.

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2011
Mon, 04-11-2011 - 10:27am

Iddy and TU...thank you so much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Mon, 04-11-2011 - 12:39pm
Daisy, sometimes the greatest strength of all lies in allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Acknowledging that we can't do it all, asking for the support of others, seeing ourselves as we really are. You should feel so proud of the progress you're making in T. I admire your courage in "heading straight into this pain to get to the other side."

Big hugs

Kat
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 04-11-2011 - 1:50pm

DW3,

Welcome back.

I was about to ask the hard question...what is different this time? You answered that when you wrote:

<>

A different approach can make all the difference!

<< I answered when I was threatened by pictures and d-day.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 8:43am
Hello Daisy.

I think you sound so very strong and committed! Like you I stumbled but going strong this time. I finally just had enough. I feel so weak somedays I can barely not contact him - but I have got through a few of those days now so I hope it continues:)

You have had a hugely emotional year and my heart goes out to you for the loss of yor mum.

Stay here, we are all here for you with a ready huh and lots of support.

Iggyxxxx
You are what you consistently do