losing it trigs ?????? dont think so
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losing it trigs ?????? dont think so
| Wed, 10-11-2006 - 9:29am |
I have been tapering off of my Cymbalta now for about a month and have been having horrible w/d symptoms like zapping in my brain but the weird thing is I had that when I was on the stuff taking it every day. But now I am finding myself being a horrible mother I have a very short fuse here lately and I am not sure why i am this way but my 14 yr old DD and I have never really had a very good relationship and it is getting worse yesterday I told her to get out of my house, and have just been yelling at her all day yesterday it is like something takes over me and I am just so vile towardas her and I sat her down last night and really had a heart to heart with her but this is getting so out of control and I wont allow myself to harm any of my children what in the sam hill is going on with me. my T has told me that I was in denial about myself being bipolar but I dont think I am bipolar I feel I am just a moody person, my family doc diagnosed me and what does he know about bipolar or any mental illiness. I am to the point of not believeing a word the docs say. I am so tired of being being mean to the ppl that I love I need to gain self control again some how, I get to the point that I just want to smash my fists through things why cant I control my anger, I use to be this calm loving person and now I am mean and so distant. Dont want to have to depend on medicine to make me happy.

Sounds like bp to me. Understand NOT trusting docs, etc, but SOMETIMES they DO know what they are talking about. Also can relate to wanting to just smash my fist into things. Almost broke my hand a few times punching dumpsters and steel doors instead of who I FELT like punching. Also put holes in a few walls.
My best friends wife is very likely bp also and doesn't want that dx either. Alot of people are hung up on the symptoms of bp I, ie the REALLY high highs and the crushing lows. With bp II, however, one spends most of the time "feeling" depressive, because the "highs" are irritable and angry and short fuse as well as the "lows". You will need to go do some research and read the difference between the bp I and bp II.
Hope you find a med that works,
tk
Mary, honey...I've always been perfectly honest with you and I am going to do so now. YOU ARE BP. I told you I thought you were YEARS ago. You need meds to help control your "moods" and your anger...the right ones REALLY WILL help.
I go through the same thing with my ds...but it was MUCH MUCH worse when I wasn't medicated. And its our responsibility as mothers to ENSURE that we do what WE have to do to be well, in order to take care of our kids.
Not saying you don't need the Cymbalta, but you NEED MEDS.
Please go back to your doctor and see what you can do. I want you to be happy. SO FREAKING WHAT that we have to depend on meds to be happy, ya know? At least we CAN BE happy.
I'm here for you, as always!
Love you,
Keli
I actually have done some research but to be honest with you I am not sure what I am reading for some reason I can not concentrate on what I am reading or even understand what I am reading 1/2 the time. I have busted my hand a few times now smashing it into walls, and my hands are small and boney so it doesnt take much I have to fight with myself not to put my fist through the windows I just want to go around my house and just put my hands through all the windows and I want to see a P doc but we have only 1 here in town and he really sucks my T told me not to go to him bc she doesnt trust him, so I guess I am stuck at seeing my family doc.
Mary
hey Keli I appreciate the honesty. and I am thinking maybe some meds would be ok bc I cant go on like this and neither can my DD, I hate how this affects her and it isnt fair to her and I really try to stop but I just cant. I go see my family doc Friday and I am going to see about maybe going on something else. I just dont understand all this medicine crap. I know I have to be on it or else I have anger problems and have super lows. If you need to you may email me anytime Keli I would love to help you out as you have me. my addy is mary_berry70@msn.com
Mary