New here...new a little insight

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
New here...new a little insight
7
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 10:40pm

I've been seeing my psychiatrist for almost a year now. I started seeing him for major depression, and to be screened for bipolar disorder. After a bunch of stuff and med changes and more stuff and then some psychotic stuff he tells me yesterday that he now thinks I'm atypical bipolar and wants to add seroquel and doesn't want me to stop my topamax (originally prescribed by another doc for migraines) and blah blah blah...

This morning I wake up and find out I'm pregnant. I should be happy and I am, but I'm scared. I'm in a completely stable home: Late 30's, married, 4 year old daughter, own our home, financially stable....all that stuff. However, I'm still seeing, hearing, imagining and overreacting to things. I'm feeling completely off and really gittery and I'm afraid I'm on the verge of my first true manic period of my life AND my doctors told me to stop all my meds cold turkey as of today. I'm not sure I've ever felt this terrified of myself before. I don't know if it's just anxiety over being without my mood stabilizing meds...it's been a long time since I haven't started my day without some...or my recent retail center meltdowns were just foreshadowing of worse things to come. And I hate being pregnant anyway. I love my daughter to death, but I'm not a "look at me I'm round and glowing and maternal" type. I think I liked labor better than any part of pregnancy. My husband is over the moon. He thinks this is all going to be fine. He thinks I was fine the last time. He forgets I left my sys/admin position because they all thought I needed to be home resting after I called my boss a "complete and utter moron" in front of the whole company. AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........

Anyone been pregnant and bipolar and can give me some help here.

TIA

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 10:54pm

Afraid I'm not much help on the pregnancy aspect, although I do know there are meds for BP that can be taken while PG.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 12:16pm
Congratulations! I don't have any information or advice unfortunately. I really want to have a baby though and the meds worry me.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 1:09pm

I'll let you know how it goes with no meds. My first pregnancy, 5 years ago, was obviously unmedicated. It was a little rocky. I quit my job after 4 months because, although everyone at the small, family owned company was willing to cut me a little slack for the "hormonal stress" I knew I couldn't keep holding it together day after day. I didn't know what was going on, just that I was hitting one of those periods that I would have instinctively heavily self medicated with OTC cold and allergy medicine in the past and pregnancy made that unacceptable. So I went home and painted my soon-to-be-daughter's room, complete with tons of stenciled stars and moons and suns all 3 different colors and did all the shopping and arranging and took trip to New Orleans and did some work-from-home programming and crashed around 6 months. That actually worked out alright because preterm labor put me on bedrest until 5 weeks before I delivered so I read about 20 books and layed around my room. After my daughter was born I had about 5 extraordinary days and then I lost it completely. I was so anxious and depressed I was afraid to leave the house. I was sure serial killers were constantly stalking the house and all the windows on the ground floor level had to be closed and locked at all times. It was late August in the desert and with a swamp cooler you need an open window to pull the cool air down. We were uncomfortable. Somewhere around the 1 year mark my doctor convinced me that she wasn't going to find anything wrong with my thyroid to explain the energy problem and dh admitted that I was a little off. That's when I started to get help for the first time in my life. Things have been both remaredly better, and strangely harder since then.

I'm hoping, now that I understand the problem better, things will go much better this time around. I'm also scared out of mind about dropping all my meds.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 1:15pm

Not so much "retail therapy" as bad things in retail venues. I should probably toss a trigger warning in here. I kind of lost it in a Trader Joe's recently (for example) when I got lost in a bizarre conspiratorial fantasy about the lives of my entire generation being controlled to manufacture and artifical market for exotic perishible goods to replace our dwindling durable manufacturing base. There I stood, bawling my eyes out in the cheap wine section ('rents coming to town) while I tried to figure out if it was real and if it was what my best course of action was. And then there was the day I thought God told me he was an atheist while I was trying to buy jeans. If I were 15 years younger and had no child I might find this all pretty amusing.

Mind if I ask how you ended up getting diagnosed? I'm guessing it's a well-known story here if you're the cl, but I'm a newbie here...

Mary

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 6:45pm

I think a lot of it had to do with the growing awareness about BP and a doc who knew to ask the right questions.

Avatar for lisalyanne
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2003
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 12:15am

First of all CONGRATS!

I was undiagnosed bp when pregnant, both times. First pregnancy wasn't bad mentally, but had a difficult time physically. Got pregnant again, and I was a wreck. Absolute wreck. I walked out on my job one day (for the day not quit) for a very stupid reason, just lost it. Was constantly crying or talking conspiracies and weird stuff at work. My husband really held me together the best he could and he did a fantastic job supporting me. I really am lucky to have him. I would check if there is any meds you can take, and use your family and support groups such as this as much as you need to. Have a crisis plan in place just in case, and make sure your husband and docs know about the plan. I used to have one, but let the info go (bad me! LOL), there are links online for a plan such as that, and the name of it is escaping me at the moment, but hopefully others will see this know what I am talking about and speak up! or I'll remember later and comeback and repost! Anyway. I know how scary it can be. Don't be afraid to use your support network and let others know what is going on with you. And above all, try to stay positive. I know that sounds corny, but it works for me somedays anyway. Somedays though...not... :)

Congratulations!
Lisalyanne

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 11:47am

Welcome to the Board!

Kelli





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