feeling terrible

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2011
feeling terrible
8
Sat, 04-16-2011 - 8:50am

i broke nc and sent him an email. i was having a weak moment because he sent me an email telling me he loved me and i responded by basically telling him we can't do this anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2011
Sat, 04-16-2011 - 9:35am

Have you followed my story? I know just how you feel.

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sat, 04-16-2011 - 10:05am
There are very few here that have made it, on the first try.
It's time you take an honest look at what you are trying to accomplish, and play it out fully in your mind before you do it again.
Do you both want each other so much that you are willing to hurt your families, friends and everyone around you, to be together? That is the only thing that can happen by having contact with xAP. If there is a NO anywhere in the answer then you can't have contact.
Please come here and post instead of posting a text to him. You won't get hurt here.
Better days are ahead. ;-)

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Sat, 04-16-2011 - 10:55am
Hey smileagain

I am sorry you are hurting. The pull is overwhelming. I have been resisting it for the last 4 days. All that is stopping me is posting here and knowing that I don't want to experimcecwhat you and Genevieve have.

Please post here when you feel weak. Play through what the likely outcomes will be i.e you will feel bad, he may not reply as you hope, you are giving him his ego stroke and you have betrayed yourself.

I absolutely know how hard this is at the moment and so does everyone here. Reach out to us and we can help you through. I am holding on by my fingertips and need you to stay the course.

You can do this.

yellowone. Xxxx

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sat, 04-16-2011 - 11:16am

AGR.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2011
Sat, 04-16-2011 - 12:16pm

thank you dee, i needed that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2011
Sat, 04-16-2011 - 12:26pm

Yes Genevieve, I have been following your story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2011
Sat, 04-16-2011 - 12:51pm

My situation was very similar....I reached out....he responded saying he loved and missed me but was doing what had to be done and then went NC.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sun, 04-17-2011 - 10:15am

Wantto~

Dee's advice was spot on and apparently hit the target. Great job in deleting that email account. We are only fooling ourselves when we think leaving any door open is okay. You have to protect yourself from yourself. In ending an A, it is shown over and over again on this board that we are our own worst enemy. What is so difficult to absorb is our own faulty thinking and selfish behavior when we think an email or a txt message cannot possible stir up painful emotions for the XAP. No matter how an A may have ended, whether there was an agreement not to make contact, or whether it ended harshly/abruptly, there are raw emotions that both XAPs will be contending with for many months afterwards. We have to set our fragile egos aside and look at the big picture, not at the momentary fix we MAY or MAY NOT get by having a weak moment.

I am not directing this post directly at you. I am writing it to anyone on this board who actually believes that contacting an XAP is going to change the reality of what our fantasizing minds buy into. Affairs always end, and accepting this as FACT will assist in the "Letting go" process.

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha