How do you help someone......

Community Leader
Registered: 04-19-2008
How do you help someone......
7
Sat, 10-21-2006 - 5:45pm

Hello, this is my first time posting on this board.

With my heart,
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Sat, 10-21-2006 - 6:15pm

As hard as it is to hear this, unless the person is willing to get help there's really not much you can do. Unless that person is in imminent danger of hurting himself or others there's no way to force him to get help. You might suggest that your in-laws establish ground rules and stiff consequences if he doesn't follow through with them. I wish I had more positive information for you, but that's really all I can think of. Unfortunately there's not much anyone can do if the person denies there's a problem. Wish I could be more help. Hang in there and keep us posted.


Hugs,
Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 12:17am

Have to agree with Traci about someone wanting to get help, but maybe there are some things that can be done that can help push him there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 1:15pm

First off, love your pictures in your siggy....gotta ask, what breed is whisper, OMG he's HUGE. I thought my Akita baby was big, that critter takes the cake though. LOL!!!!

NOW, about your question, not sure I can offer any more helpful advice other than your in-laws HAVE to set ground rules for STBX to stay with them. Sounds like STBX is in a decidely manic state and just doesn't give a crap. Unfortunatly, he is an adult and since his reaction to being told he had personal issues he needed to take care of in marriage counseling was to dump everything it sounds like he DOESN'T think he has an issue and the whole REST of the world is out to get him. Maybe a few cold nights in an alley somewhere would wake him up, but not too sure. I know, not real sympathetic, but what can ya do sometimes? He's already turned a deaf ear to you and told you in no uncertain terms to go to h***, he obviously isn't listening to his brother, so what ya gonna do....the options I see are the above or go on living with things the way they are. Maybe a little blunter than what the others have said, but that's me. LOL!!!

Good Luck to you and your (ex)in-laws, I hope there were no kids involved, that would make the situation even tougher.

tk

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Community Leader
Registered: 04-19-2008
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 9:49pm

Hi Traci, thank you sooooo much.

With my heart,
 
Community Leader
Registered: 04-19-2008
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 10:01pm

Hi Marci, thank you soooo much.

With my heart,
 
Community Leader
Registered: 04-19-2008
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 10:10pm

Hi tk, thank you soooo much!

With my heart,
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 11:59am

Yep, the Akita (Kodiak) is a BIGGGG baby....98 lbs of solid muscle and my DD of 45 lbs can drag him all over the place by his cheek, or an ear, or whatever she happens to get ahold of. His antics can be pretty funny when we go in the yard, does his imatation of a TX tornado, rears up and wants to dance....he is a trip. LOL. But so many people are scared to death of him because of his size and attitude....not a whole heck of alot phases him.

From the picture I thought Whisper was a Great Pyrenees, you're right, all that fluff makes him look HUGE. LOL.

Good luck with the STBX, I saw you mentioned him living in his truck in another post, that may be what it takes. You have done all you can, and yes I can understand about caring for someone after being with them for many, many, years. Sometimes though one has to just back off and let things fall where they may.

Good luck and {{{{hugs}}}} again,
tk

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