I am thankful that my mom's marker was laid down and I seen it yesterday. It is beautiful. There is flowers and butterflies bordering it and an angel holding a baby. My brother's ashes are in with her, so my sister and I were thinking that is our mom holding our brother. It was interesting at the cemetary. My sister, my dd and I were standing there at my mom's and brother's grave talking and laughing. It actually felt comforting, like old times with my mom. We would laugh a lot when we all got together. I am a big joker, so I always get everyone going. It was nice considering the day I started out with.
I am also thankful the evening I got to spend with my dd last night. We went to a craft store. To dinner and we hung out in front of her house, well her dads, for about an hour talking in the car. It was great. We talked about a lot of things.
I am thankful my day didn't get any worse but got better yesterday.
I am thankful for the fact that i got 4 hours of solid sleep last night. (A first in I dont know how long) I am thankful for my mom, my sis, and the bf who even though he doesnt know what to do right now, he is putting up with the crying and the irratability. I am no fun to be around at this point and we have only been together for 6 months.
my job that's so flexible and truly accomodates me and my illness for REAL friends for country music...it really uplifts me, or makes me cry, depending on my mood for my dh and my ds for my parents and my brother and his family my dog, who I haven't seen in ages for small, sometimes VERY small, moments of peace for my faith and strength
If he sticks with you through this "alexxia" I would say he was a keeper, all things being good in the rest of the relationship.
I am thankful DW stuck with me through the rages and the ups and downs and dealing with not only an un-dx and unaware H, but an un-dx and hard to handle DS.
But I feel ungrateful because I am not me. Also I still think of my ex who it was over with more than 1.5 years ago and I stilll miss him. Trust me he wasnt the guy for me. When I first told him about my problem he told me it was "all in my head", however, over the years we were together he changed his point of view and even went with me to the doc's office. I met him while I was manic so I threw away my meds and did just about everything for him, because I was soooo in love and happy etc.
I know I am a major 'B'. The guy i am dating is great. Stable, respectful, organized (I am not), sweet, remembers things, and has a stable job. Cute as well. He wants a marriage and a family and right now I am not sure I could ever give that to him because I dont see the point in living. I look at the years ahead and it is depressing, having kids (I dont know how ppl on this board do it, but I commend you, sometimes my 2 puppies drive me crazy) and getting married. I just dont see the point of my life. Right now I cant see the whole marriage and kids thing but then what else is there? Work? I hate my job but I am lucky to have it. I work for the government and the benefits and pay are great. Sorry for rambling, this is the type of thinking that eats me up all day. I feel so guilty but I have been warned by my pdoc not to do anything at this time.
I will fire this off real quick before I head home from work myself. In my case the whole marriage and kids thing gave me a reason to hang on....since I met my now DW of 17 yrs, I can count on one hand the number of times I have thought about it not mattering if I was not around. As a teenager, I remember MANY times driving over a bridge and thinking "It would just be SO easy to yank the steering wheel to the right and to hell with all this s***". I was un-dx at that point and had no idea why I could be on top of the world one day and then the next thinking everyone was laughing at me and no one was interested in me and just this dark, gloomy cloud all around me.
I do have to agree with the pdoc, don't agree/get married right now, yet at the same time don't tell him to get lost. I'm sure you have, but if you haven't, let him know where you are right now emotionally and mentally and that once your stabalized the two of you can talk about where to go from there. IT WILL HAPPEN, the stabalizing....it may take some serious battling on your part and a healthy dose of support on his part (even without that, I know you can make it), but I know you can get there....then who knows, if he is still around then he is DEFINITELY a keeper. Communication is the key as it is in ANY relationship....maybe more so in a relationship with a bp person. I know since DW and I have been through MC and she opened up and told the counselor and myself that she ALWAYS felt like she is/was the cause of my rages and dark moods that I have forced myself to tell her "No it is NOT you, it is just me and who I am." We are doing better....it is still a long tough road, but getting alot better. Anyway, now I am rambling, but my point still is, keep up the fight and we are ALL here for you on this board.
Lets see I am thankful for Dh. He is wonderful to me and my Bp. I amthankful for dad even though he is tought to live with sometime. Right now I am haveing a hard time of thinking of things cause this week and next week will be finanacially tought. I am thankful for my furbabies they keep me sane and they love me unconditinally.
I am thankful that my mom's marker was laid down and I seen it yesterday. It is beautiful. There is flowers and butterflies bordering it and an angel holding a baby. My brother's ashes are in with her, so my sister and I were thinking that is our mom holding our brother. It was interesting at the cemetary. My sister, my dd and I were standing there at my mom's and brother's grave talking and laughing. It actually felt comforting, like old times with my mom. We would laugh a lot when we all got together. I am a big joker, so I always get everyone going. It was nice considering the day I started out with.
I am also thankful the evening I got to spend with my dd last night. We went to a craft store. To dinner and we hung out in front of her house, well her dads, for about an hour talking in the car. It was great. We talked about a lot of things.
I am thankful my day didn't get any worse but got better yesterday.
my dd
my bf
my family
my dog
my tdoc & pdoc
meds
my car
my friends here
Tina
~ Tina ~
I'm thankful for my tdoc
I'm thankful for my friends here who are helping me through this mess again.
Traci
Hi all,
I am thankful for the fact that i got 4 hours of solid sleep last night. (A first in I dont know how long)
I am thankful for my mom, my sis, and the bf who even though he doesnt know what to do right now, he is putting up with the crying and the irratability. I am no fun to be around at this point and we have only been together for 6 months.
I am thankful for:
my job that's so flexible and truly accomodates me and my illness
for REAL friends
for country music...it really uplifts me, or makes me cry, depending on my mood
for my dh and my ds
for my parents and my brother and his family
my dog, who I haven't seen in ages
for small, sometimes VERY small, moments of peace
for my faith and strength
If he sticks with you through this "alexxia" I would say he was a keeper, all things being good in the rest of the relationship.
I am thankful DW stuck with me through the rages and the ups and downs and dealing with not only an un-dx and unaware H, but an un-dx and hard to handle DS.
tk
I am thankful it's Thursday.... and that we fall back an hour this weekend. I hate getting up in the pitch dark.
Kelli
Thanks tk, I know I am lucky to have him.
But I feel ungrateful because I am not me. Also I still think of my ex who it was over with more than 1.5 years ago and I stilll miss him. Trust me he wasnt the guy for me. When I first told him about my problem he told me it was "all in my head", however, over the years we were together he changed his point of view and even went with me to the doc's office. I met him while I was manic so I threw away my meds and did just about everything for him, because I was soooo in love and happy etc.
I know I am a major 'B'. The guy i am dating is great. Stable, respectful, organized (I am not), sweet, remembers things, and has a stable job. Cute as well. He wants a marriage and a family and right now I am not sure I could ever give that to him because I dont see the point in living. I look at the years ahead and it is depressing, having kids (I dont know how ppl on this board do it, but I commend you, sometimes my 2 puppies drive me crazy) and getting married. I just dont see the point of my life. Right now I cant see the whole marriage and kids thing but then what else is there? Work? I hate my job but I am lucky to have it. I work for the government and the benefits and pay are great. Sorry for rambling, this is the type of thinking that eats me up all day. I feel so guilty but I have been warned by my pdoc not to do anything at this time.
I will fire this off real quick before I head home from work myself. In my case the whole marriage and kids thing gave me a reason to hang on....since I met my now DW of 17 yrs, I can count on one hand the number of times I have thought about it not mattering if I was not around. As a teenager, I remember MANY times driving over a bridge and thinking "It would just be SO easy to yank the steering wheel to the right and to hell with all this s***". I was un-dx at that point and had no idea why I could be on top of the world one day and then the next thinking everyone was laughing at me and no one was interested in me and just this dark, gloomy cloud all around me.
I do have to agree with the pdoc, don't agree/get married right now, yet at the same time don't tell him to get lost. I'm sure you have, but if you haven't, let him know where you are right now emotionally and mentally and that once your stabalized the two of you can talk about where to go from there. IT WILL HAPPEN, the stabalizing....it may take some serious battling on your part and a healthy dose of support on his part (even without that, I know you can make it), but I know you can get there....then who knows, if he is still around then he is DEFINITELY a keeper. Communication is the key as it is in ANY relationship....maybe more so in a relationship with a bp person. I know since DW and I have been through MC and she opened up and told the counselor and myself that she ALWAYS felt like she is/was the cause of my rages and dark moods that I have forced myself to tell her "No it is NOT you, it is just me and who I am." We are doing better....it is still a long tough road, but getting alot better. Anyway, now I am rambling, but my point still is, keep up the fight and we are ALL here for you on this board.
{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}
tk
Lets see I am thankful for Dh. He is wonderful to me and my Bp. I amthankful for dad even though he is tought to live with sometime. Right now I am haveing a hard time of thinking of things cause this week and next week will be finanacially tought. I am thankful for my furbabies they keep me sane and they love me unconditinally.
jo
Johanna