Everything's getting worse - poss trigs

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Everything's getting worse - poss trigs
4
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 11:12am

It's gotten near impossible for me to function. Work is unbearable but I can't call in so I come home and veg on the couch until I have to go again. My mood is getting worse and I don't see pdoc until Monday and tdoc is out of town. Not that there's anything either of them can do anyway. I'm just tired of feeling like this. I wish I hadn't turned in my sharps.


Things at home aren't helping. My 16 yo dd who is bipolar also I guess is feeding off of my mood and she has also been off her lamictal for God knows how long because it upsets her stomach. So that's not helping her mood either. So between me and her being off her meds she's gotten worse and I'm not equipped right now to deal with it so I feel incompetent which makes me feel worse.


Meds don't seem to be doing anything. I just want to stop hurting! And there's nothing I can do to stop the hurt without ending up in trouble.


Thanks for listening.


Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003

Hang in there...you have been here before and you know it ends. It sucks, I know. If you have to, get to the ER. I'm serious about that...okay?

Love you,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006

Thanks Keli. I know you're serious about the er. If I get to a point where I'm just not functioning at all I'll consider it. I've got a busy weekend scheduled so maybe that will help pull me out of this. I hope I don't get worse. Saturday is my dd's birthday - she'll be 17 and Sunday is my 10 yo ds's birthday party - his birthday was Monday. I'm hoping between the two plus various sporting events on Saturday that I'll at least not get any worse. It's so hard to get excited about dd's birthday just like it was hard to get excited about ds's birthday. But I have to somehow. They can't see me as the mess I really am. Tdoc told me to call her but I think she'll just tell me to go to the er too so I won't even bother calling her.


Thanks for being here for me. I appreciate it. I'll keep you posted.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003

Hi Traci,

I am sorry that you are going through this. I hope your weekend is calm at least, but it doesnt seem so since your dd has the same problems. It must be really hard right now, but you are showing that you have great strength. Giving up the sharps was a good thing. I agree with Keli, go to the ER is you have to.

Light & Strength to you,

Lexi

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006

Traci,


I am worried about you. I am sooo glad you gave your knives to tdoc. I know dealing with a teen on top of a bp one with your own issues is real hard. I hope your weekend does pull you out of this depression. I hope you feel better real soon. If you feel like you can take anymore...GET TO THE ER.


We all love you.


Tina




     ~ Tina ~