irritated
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| Sun, 10-29-2006 - 5:34pm |
I have been so edgy the last few days, and not impressing myself at all with my efforts to control my anger and irritability.
I had a mini meltdown yesterday. Nothing new there. Brace yourself - this is idiotic: my son has these cups with built in straws, and sometimes the straws are not put in just right and he can't get liquid to go through them. He told my husband and me that the straw wasn't working. I was feeding the baby and my husband was doing something, but then sat down at the table with us. It just infuriated me that he didn't help my 4 year old with his cup. I couldn't, since I was tied up with the baby. I feel like the "translator" all the time. My 4 year old will say something and I have to turn to my husband and say "Did you hear that? He says his straw isn't working? Can you fix it?" turn to the 4 year old "Hang on, your dad will fix it." So I decided I wasn't going to be the middle man this time, and instead screamed at my husband "Why are you just sitting there?"
Then I take my son to school, and it's the same thing. Adults will say things to my 4 year old, and I feel like I have to engineer the whole conversation because my son doesn't know what to say, and he doesn't always understand when people are joking or being complimentary or whatever. It sounds like a minor thing, yet it saps my energy. And now people are starting to talk to the baby! Please, can you just ask me what his name is instead of turning to an infant and saying "What's your name?" so that I have to answer for him and we stand there, two adults, ignoring each other and talking through this baby?! People would be horrified if they could hear my thoughts. I know they are just trying to be friendly, but I walk into that building most days thinking "Please, no one talk to us." It never happens - my son has been at that school 3 years, so every last teacher, and most parents, know him and want to say hi. And why shouldn't they? But I usually wish they wouldn't.
This afternoon, my husband spilled tea all over the one nice rug we have in this house. I said "I give up, I can't live with you anymore." and came up here to type. My husband is really clumsy, and that gets really old after a short while. He says he cleaned it up and it didn't stain - we have different standards for clean, though, so I am afraid to look.
I feel better now. My irritation has been building all week and I guess I just needed to let it out somehow.
Take care everyone,
Cari

Hi Cari! I do believe it's a guy thing. I can't tell you how many times we have been driving down the road and our 7 yo DD is in the back wanting or needing something - handing me something, whichever, and he NEVER hears her! BTW, I am always the one driving!! It drives me insane. I have to say to him all the time "Can you help Claire?" and sometimes I yell it but the look on his face. I can tell he just doesn't "hear" it.
He can also walk by trash, put larger tupperware on top of smaller tupperware, and never puts the "door" condiments back in the door - only on a shelf in the fridge even though the door is where he gets them from.....
You are not alone, sister!
Pug hugs, Kelli
I'm glad you were able to vent and feeling a bit better.
I have the same issues also....most of the time I'm just faster then dh and I'll go to help him and he'll be like 'oh i was going to'...yeah ok buddy.
God could not be everywhere, so
Cari...I can soooo sympathize. I get so tired of being a go between. This time of the year sucks because my child is hypoglycemic. Actually she has a rare form of congenital hyperinsulinism that has to be carefully monitored and controlled with meds and diet, but no one knows what that is so I say hypoglycemic when some stranger is trying to give her some freaking candy like that's normal and reasonable these days anyway. Then I have to hear all about how if said stranger eat a donut first thing in the *&%$# morning they feel faint like it's the same *&%$ thing. I get tired of that conversation so I sometimes I just get snippy and say something like "Please don't give my child candy. I don't know you." and walk away. My husband thinks that makes me appear crazy and mean. Sometimes I don't care.
Oh! And you want to hear my failure-to-control-irratibility-story-of-the-week? I dropped my daughter off the other morning at preschool. It's a special ed preschool class in the regular elementary school. I hung around to make sure she was all settled in and then chatted with the teacher's aid for a few minutes and didn't get out until after the last bell had rung and announcements were starting. While I was driving out of the parking lot there were some parents gathered in groups at cars chatting, but I didn't see any kids. As I get near the end of the parking lot this blond woman dances out in front of my car, does a pirouette or two and seems to be talking to someone behind a truck while she skips backwards toward the school. My brain said "Saying goodbye to a friend in the truck". When she gets out from in front of my car I start forward and this kid with a backpack on wheels dashed in front of my car without looking and the blond starts yelling at me to watch what I'm doing because I had to slam on my brakes. I jumped out of my car without even thinking and said "Well, Angelina Ballerina if you had been paying attention to anything but the way your hair streams in the wind you could have either warned me that your son was there or your son that was I there. This is not our fault, it is yours. You need to pay better attention to what you're doing and stop blaming other people for when your acting childish." And I got in my car and drove away. Now I'm kind of afraid to go to the school.
Mary
Boy, where to start....meltdown stories....I got a ton of 'em (as I'm sure we all do). Haven't had one this week yet, but it is only Monday. Talked to DW at lunch and it seems DD is growing, which makes her grumpy, and is in a FINE mood today, so I probably will have one before the day is done and she is the "normal" one in the family. LOL. I feel so bad when I have a meltdown at her or DW, because 99.9% of the time they REALLY don't deserve it. DS on the other hand. However, my latest "memorable" meltdown was at the gas station waiting to get gas, long lines, congested parking lot so I wait off to the side so I don't block thru traffic and people trying to get away from a pump (when I first pulled in I sat and watched someone try for 10 min to try and get out because the one behind them wouldn't move because they might just lose their place in line) anyway, sat there PATIENTLY until 3 different cars zipped right by me, durn near smashed the car trying to pull away from the pump and took the vacant pump....I finally snapped, pulled up in front of a line for the pumps, threw the truck in reverse and STOMPED the gas, tires squalled everyone looked and finally, someone that had actually noticed I had been sitting there for the last 10 min blocked off a pump and got me in. When I parked someone on the pump next to mine made a snide comment about "me FINALLY getting my turn". I told them, "I don't mind waiting, but when I keep getting cut off by less courteous so-and-so's yeah I tend to lose it". They said "OH, yeah that does get frustrating"....anyway there is my spectacular meltdown.
As for the driving and the cleaning and things having to be a certain way....Well I drive and can relate to sometimes feeling like DW didn't hear, but then at that time she wasn't responding much to anybody (she is doing ALOT better nowadays), the cleaning and things being stacked "right", DW and myself are on the same wavelength there, so I am in the habit in the kitchen of asking if things aren't readily apparent where they go, because if I do put something in the wrong place I hear about it. If there is a like object there I can at least get the smaller inside the larger without direction....I feel sorry for you ladies having to deal with that....just to defend "some" of us guys, we're not all clueless, just the majority give the minority a bad name.
I saw something in "atomic_girl's" post that just triggered a soapbox issue with me, parents wandering through a parking lot letting there little 3 or 4 yr old wander where THEY want and then get pissed at the person in the car for "not watching where they are going". I have ALWAYS made my kids hold my hand in the parking lot until they are old enough to understand that they need to stay close to the parked cars and watch them for the reverse lights or brake lights coming on. O.K., pretty mild as a vent goes, but that is a MAJOR soap box complaint of mine.
Have fun all and have a "isn't bp fun" kind of week. LOL.
tk
Aw, thanks y'all! It really helps to hear the sympathetic stories and meltdown confessions.
Kelli, you're probably right, it's just the y-chromosome at work (no offense, tk!). I have an amazing ability to tune out anything car-related, and I live with a mechanical engineer, so he probably thinks I'm the one who never listens.
Donna, I am so with you - screaming babies in the car are the most nerve-wracking experience ever! But let's not injure ourselves anymore dealing with it, kay? : )
Mary, I don't think you sound crazy and mean, actually I would say lucid and direct. With all the allergies and special diets around today, why do poeople offer kids candy without clearing it with the parents?! My kid doesn't have medical issues with food, but perhaps I don't want him shoving a lollipop in his mouth at 10AM - I think I have that right! That woman who almost let her kid get killed in traffic sounds like the crazy one. Go back to that school with your head held high - you told her what she needed to hear and I'm proud of you!
TK, I also think you did the right thing at the fuel station. Don't get me started on the decline of manners in this country - that is one of my many 'soapbox issues'.
Thanks for sharing everyone. Here's to an aggravation-free day tomorrow (fat chance, eh?)
Cari
I have to agree with the feeling of knowing "you're not alone". I some respects I think being male and dealing with this may be tougher....as in one will very seldom/never find a message board like this with males talking about their problems and day to day issues. Anyway, I haven't found one.
No offense taken Cari....I think I've stated before on another post....I have been accused of my mind working like a females in some aspects. In others I am "typical" male....as Jeff Foxworthy says...."I want a drink and see something nekkid" LOL.
tk
God could not be everywhere, so
Some of us males do. LOL. The hardest part has been re-learning how to do that with DW....strange how that works sometimes, we can talk to total strangers easier than we can to those who mean the most to us.
tk