Tell All Tuesday

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Tell All Tuesday
14
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 9:00am

ok, spill it today....what's going on today, good or bad


I'm really tired today, but hoping the vitamins work as good as they did yesterday (but i'm not holding my breathe either).


It's cloudy, cold, dreary outside....hate this weather.


And my boss is in a mood....should be a great day !!

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God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 1:23pm

Yeah, that is my xh. He saw the writing on the wall and chose to ignore it. He saw this coming months ago when I went for an increase in CS. He told me as much. But he did nothing to shore himself up in the event that the layoff actually happened. But what's done is done. Now is time for me to be proactive. As I've stated I'm not happy about having to do it, but I will do what's necessary for my kids. My ex has never put a high value on his kids from either one of his 2 marriages. Anytime he can wriggle out of paying CS he takes it. I saw it happen with xw #1 and now I'm living through the same thing. But my kids will not go without if I can help it. And once I get on my feet financially and finish school (hopefully) I'll be able to get 1 decent paying job as a therapist and won't need the second job. Of course by then my kids will probably be grown and gone. LOL! But until that happens, it's up to me. It should be up to the both of us, but he's never seen it that way and he never will. It takes a judge to tell him he has to pay support to begin with otherwise he never would have paid me a cent. This guy is a narcisist by every definition and I had the misfortune of marrying him. However, I got two beautiful kids out of it so I can't say it was all bad. But he's given me as much grief since our divorce as he did when we were married. I know that with kids involved he'll always be a part of my life, but I wish he'd keep a fair distance as much as possible.


Anyway, it's about time for me to head back to work. So I'll quit my rant for now. Thanks again for listening. It's truly refreshing to get a male's perspective and know that I'm not totally nuts!


Hugs,
Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 1:42pm

Traci,


I know where your coming from and how it feels to have a piece of crap for a father for your kids. My dd's dad wanted me to have an abortion. He wouldn't visit her unless I called and pitched a fit and threaten him. Now she lives with him and because he hardly ever talks to her it is like he isn't even there. He treats her like a burden and a failure. Look who's talking. The BIG loser himself. Who gives him the right to judge.


He only paid me 136.00 a month from her birth until 2001. When she came back to live with me. He gave me no money and bought nothing for her. IMO, dd's father is a sorry excuse for a human being and so is your xh.


My dd's dad makes sure my dd knows his love is conditional and so far she hasn't lived up to his expectations so, therefore, she feels no love.


I don't agree with all of my dd's choices and one of her choices was to live with him in hopes he would really love her and they could have a relationship. My family and myself tried to warn her his words were all an act, but she had to find out for herself.


My tdoc feels my dd will get herself pregnant. She told me she sees that coming. I hope she is wrong because it will totally ruine her life. Her bf and her went and got birth control. Her bf took her to her appointment. So, I am hoping this is a sign that they are being responsible. It is so scary being a parent of a teenage girl who is sexually active.


You are a great mom and your kids know it. They may whine about not having this or that but they know you love them.


Love you & Hugs,


Tina




     ~ Tina ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2005
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 1:50pm

Tell all eh? I would be here for days..lol

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 1:57pm

Well, last night I got about 3 hours sleep. I finally fell asleep about 5am and got up at 8. I didn't want to go to school...oh God I was dreading it, but I went. I got through it.


I am so worried about my dd. I know I can't do much for her except be there to listen. This whole thing with her taking her check card and buying all that merchandise with little money in the bank blows my mind. It is totally illegal. She thinks she is getting back at her dad and she is only making things harder on herself. I tried to help her by talking to her dad about getting the car together for her and she turnes around and does this...GGGRRR


She is driving me crazy. She is so self destructive. I wish she would get treatment for her BP. Where is she going to end up? I am scared for her. Yes, there are things her dad should be doing as a parents, but her dwelling on that everyday and feeling sorry for herself isn't going to make him a btter parent and it will get her no where. She did call and set up an appointment to take the pre GED test. At least she FINALLY did that.


How do I get her to see the damage she is doing to herself? She always thinks she knows it all and has a reason why it is all too hard. The girl needs to get a back bone for herself and do something to help herself. I don't know what else to say to her. Maybe there is nothing else I can say. I really hate this. She's my only child and I feel helpless to her.


That is where I am at today. I am still feeling depressed but I think it really has a lot to do with dd. I think I know some other things that is causing it. All of the things I am depressed about, I can't do anything about. I just have to watch it all happen. But there is also some good things happening, so I am trying to concentrate on that.


I'll be ok. I always am. I am a survivor. But I hate those valleys I go into.


Tina




     ~ Tina ~

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