Where is Suzi?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Where is Suzi?
1
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 1:46pm

Check in okay???

Love and Hugs,

Keli

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: keli003
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 2:36pm
hey keli....
i'm sorry youre having such a bad time w/ your new doc.
mine just gives me a new a/d every 2 weeks.
i think my depression is inevitable after mania.
it's bad tho.it hurts.
yesterday was awful..everything went to hell in my family.
in the end my middle dd is in tears & tells me..please don't leave me mommy...or if you do,take me with you....i cry buckets when i think of it.i am right now.
the oldest could care less how much she hurts me.
i'm not functioning.do you want to know my mother's advice?
1st of all i have to tell you that i am slightly agoraphobic...i am terrified of public transportation & dread long commutes.
i am also somewhat of a control freak where my house is concerned & i still have a small chaotic puppy.
so she says...go commute into the city & get a job in bloomingdale's(i've worked in bloomingdale's & it ain't the best place for an angry bipolar)then get an au pair & let her live in your basement(playroom/laundryroom)let her deal w/ the kids & even tho you'll have to give her your whole paycheck,you'll have changed your life.
she really doesn't know me.
she thinks i'm her.
anyway,i'm at the stage of my depression where i've stopped getting dressed or brushing my hair.
when i say i want to "go away" i mean i want to "go away"which is why my dd's comment makes me cry.
i don't want it to seem like she's my favorite but i feel better when she's near me.her too.