I am so angry at dd...she hurt me bad
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I am so angry at dd...she hurt me bad
| Tue, 11-14-2006 - 7:42pm |
My dd called me wanting to know if 7-11 sells gift certificates. She asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told her nothing because she doesn't have the money. She said I have my bank card. I told her to please stop using that because it is illegal to charge these things with no money to pay for it. I tried explaining to her it is like writing bad checks. She said she didn't need the lecture, sarcastically. I said, well when you need help you know my number don't ya?

I'm so sorry Tina...wish I had some words of wisdom, but I don't.
God could not be everywhere, so
Unfortunately alot of "young" (good Lord listen to me, "In my day", I'm only 39 for crying out loud) people have to learn things for themselves (I am in that bunch)....which can lead to some pretty messy situation. It was only after I had kids and walked in my parents shoes have my moms actions made sense and some of her comments made sense. LOL.
I am afraid you dd is going to have to run into a few walls before she "wakes" up. One bright spot is that she realized she needed meds and therapy. However, will she act on that? It is hard to let your children learn some of these lessons the hard way, especially when the lessons don't seem to be sinking in. Also, it may not be so much she just wants you to say what she wants to hear, she is trying to only hear what she wants to hear. You might try whispering. LOL. I have seen with my ds that we can YELL for him when he is in his room (15 ft away) and will get nada and he will claim he didn't hear us, but let DW and myself have a whispered conversation the same distance away and he will be able to repeat word for word the ENTIRE conversation. Funny how that works. Anyway, a little off thread there, but you can see you are not alone. I am dreading the next five years for my ds (he just turned 16) and so much of his life seems to be consumed with fighting DW and myself on everything.
He did get a little eye opener this last weekend, DW and myself took a weekend for ourselves and left him to watch his little sister (8 yr old). It turned into a GREAT weekend for him, DD got sick on Fri. night and he didn't want to clean that up, then the dog got bit/stung by something Sat. night and the right side of his face and muzzle swelled up so he couldn't hardly open his right eye....DS had to give him pills, which is kind of intimidating as one has to push the pills WAYYYY back in the mouth which means "wee little puppies" (yeah right 98 lbs of solid muscle) canines are somewhere up around the midpoint of the forearm. DS did well, felt to see if a porcupine had got the dog, checked for snake bite, even thought to look inside the mouth to see if the dog had a porcupine quill up in the roof of the mouth. When we got back, we asked DS how the weekend was and he said "HARD". LOL. Anyway, off thread again.
You have to keep reminding yourself you can't solve all your dd's problems and that sometimes you just have to accept how things turn out. You can hope and pray for the best, keep talking and hope something makes it through and sticks.
Good luck,
tk
TK
My son is about to turn 16 too. He is the SAME way. He fights us on just about EVERYTHING. The whole listening/hearing thing is the same too. Its almost funny.
I'm TRYING so hard to learn that I can't (and shouldn't) make everything okay for him. I'm messing MYSELF up (and my marriage too) by shielding him from life's problems and stressors.
He's also early onset BP, but not yet medicated. He knows without a doubt he is BP, but refuses to take meds. Can't say I blame him much.
He's had a much better month the last month and now that my dh is back with us, its better all around. But I too dread his next years.
He wants EVERYTHING handed to him, and I made so many mistakes in giving him everything. I know I messed that up. Its hard trying to reverse it now. But I'm trying, slowly.
I am so glad you are part of this board...it helps so much to have you here.
Keli
Don't even get me going on the wanting EVERYTHING handed to him....thinks he is OWED something because he exists GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! Lord the fights over that. Also, if it is in the house it automatically becomes his, just found several of my tools strewn around his room last night because I was doing some work in the house, had to suspend it for several reasons and left the tools under a sink because I thought I would get back to THAT project shortly (NOT), anyway, that meant (to DS anyway) that he could use them and not put them away as he saw fit. GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!(again).
Sorry, will get off my high horse now, and say that DS ALSO has some good days. He handled the weekend in charge pretty well. Got past the "emergencies" with only minimal help from us over the phone. I am starting to think alot of this is because he is "used" to us being who we are, but I don't know how to make him take responsibility....when we back off, he just starts letting things slide more and more until we HAVE to step in. Take bed time....DW and myself just went to bed one night and didn't say a word to him. The next morning he asked why we hadn't said anything. We told him he was old enough to take that responsibility himself. Well things were "O.K." for awhile and then he started going to bed later and later, until he was operating on 2 to 4 hrs of sleep a night and his grades went south and his attitude to EVERYONE was crap....had to start telling him it was time for bed again. WTF!!!!! How do you stop that kind of attitude?
tk
OMG!!! Mine even thinks that all the FOOD in the house is HIS! LOL!
We eat HIS food. How funny.
Mine is definitely getting a bit more mature, and can handle weekends alone too.
But they still make us nuts!
Its not just the BP though...my boss has 2 that are now in college and tod me years ago that I would hate him for a few years, but that it gets better.
We can hope!
Hi to MC!
I wish I to could offer you some real words of wisdom, But with never having and kids nor have to deal with the day to day dealings with kid (cause I only get stepson for 2 months, summer times) I really cant offer any wishdom. But I do hope you get thru this the best way possible with the least amount of stess on you. I am sending you ((((((((((((((((BIG HUGGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
huggs
jo
Johanna