Are Affairs Common in those w/ BP?
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Are Affairs Common in those w/ BP?
| Thu, 11-16-2006 - 5:50pm |
I have been receiving a lot of great posts in response to my current situation. My DH was dx'd with BP recently. Rocky road so far. Part of that road was an EA which fortunately did not progress any further. Are A's common in those with BP? And if so, why would that be?
Maybe I am just reading those who respond to me that have been/are in the same situation, so may not be the case, but I was just wondering.
Maybe I am just reading those who respond to me that have been/are in the same situation, so may not be the case, but I was just wondering.

Hypersexuality, promiscuity aqnd affairs can be part and parcel of the manic side of BP.
The books I have read all point to A's being fairly common in BP people. The reasons vary with the different BP's. From what I have read, in aobp, the manic cycle is the issue as kcisis mentioned....when one is manic one is on top of the world, irresistable to the opposite sex and just very sexual. For myself, I have EOBP, it is a case of just plain old fashioned high sex drive for most of my life....however, when I am in the down cycle, I can't interpret social cues and don't see how ANYONE can find me attractive, when I am manic, I can seem to read the social cues better and feel like more women ARE attracted to me.
Speaking from personal experience, I am not sure how much of my A's can be attributed to bp and how much to me just getting frustrated....was the frustration fed by the bp, not real sure. I do know that the high sex drive and me being a physical touch person are what ultimately led to me saying f*** it, I want something for myself. Was I in a manic state when that happened and for that reason quit caring about DW? Again, not sure, I can't really remember....I know in some instances of the EA's I was feeling really down and looked outside the marriage for someone to pick me up and give me emotional support that I felt I was not getting at home. I will state for the record here that I do take FULL responsibility for my actions and haven't hidden behind the bp as my reason for the A's. I have blamed DW for her actions while she was so severly depressed, but trying to quit doing that. It is hard to seperate the actions from the person commiting them, even knowing it was depression.
To expand on the high sex drive, I discovered that girls were interesting creatures at about age 4....I had been trying to have sex with girls since that age....most girls my same age were totally clueless at that time LOL. Looking back it is amazing I made it to 16 before I had sex for the first time. Alot of that was the rapid cycling and the rages, so I drove ALOT of girls away from me that may have been interested. I also wanted sex AT LEAST 5 to 6 times a week LOL which was a problem as you can imagine....before and after marriage.
I hope that helps explain some why an eobp can be so promiscuous and decide an A is the solution for other problems.
tk
I've had 2 affairs...both before I was diagnosed with Bipolar. When I look back...I was definitely manic at the time. I wasn't even afraid of my husband finding out. We had been married 11 years at the time. I was a virgin when I got married...so an EA was not something my husband would have expected me to do.
Renee
EA's are not a BP thing by any means, though, when BP's are in
~ Tina ~
I've had affairs.
When I'm manic, I'm the seductress...EVERYONE loves me, I LOVE ME. My judgement is altered. I do what feels good, at the time, without any regard to consequences. When I'm depressed, I'm the total opposite. I hate myself and everyone. Sucks.
HOWEVER! That cannot be an excuse for EA behavior. Once you KNOW why you did/do the things you're doing/done, you have no excuse. The behaviors have to be "unlearned" and meds are required to keep us from going too manic and out of control.
Hope that makes sense.
Hugs,
Keli
Good luck with your dh, I hope everything works out!
Pug hugs, Kelli