Anyone have???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Anyone have???
6
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 12:00pm

any ideas on how to make it through the holidays????

I am a mess, and I am a train wreck waiting to happen.

I cringe at the very thought of the holidays.

I don't know how to make it through all this...the stress, the not having any money, the PEOPLE, all of it...i just don't know how to get through right now.

I know a lot of us are struggling right now. I wish we weren't.

We should have a BP commune...somewhere we can all live together and help each other through.

UGH.

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 12:22pm
i can't help you...thanksgiving was a horror show...depressing & lonely.horrible memories i'm assembling for my kids.if you have any ideas i'd love to know
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 12:38pm

Don't have any helpful hints myself. Thanksgiving was good up until Sun....don't know if it was the drive home back to my "real" life or what, but Sun. sucked. Still feel kind of BAH - HUMBUG about Christmas, not real sure why, but kind of the norm for the last 3 yrs or so.

tk

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 1:32pm

I don't have any groundbreaking advice, but what has helped me most is to stop doing things out of a feeling of obligation. I use this technique all year, but it seems to come into play most during the holidays. I don't buy gifts for people unless I want to and see something I think they will genuinely enjoy, I try to send cards but if I don't manage it I shrug it off, I don't go to parties if I don't want to (ok, I make exceptions for kid parties because my son enjoys those and I can't ditch my husband for all of them). I don't even feel the need to come up with a perfect excuse, just "sorry, I can't make it/do that at this time". If people complain (and this is rare) it just makes me more committed to avoid them. I know this is hard for some people, but try it. It does get easier. On the other hand, if you are the type to isolate (and I have been that type at times) don't give yourself permission to avoid everything and everyone. That spirals out of control fast.

Take care,
Cari

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 2:22pm

Keli,


I agree with Cari--take care of yourself and give yourself permission not to buy gifts, go places etc that are a REAL pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 2:48pm

Hey Keli

Don't really won't to say I agree with everyone else. But Hell I do! My mother died 32 years ago at the end of October so HolidaYS SUCK FOR ME. bUT THANKS TO MY HUSBAND tHEY ARE GETTING BETTER. lIKE SOMEONE ELSE MAKE YOURSELF GET READY AND GO TO THE HOLIDAY STUFF IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT WANT TO. IF YOU SIT AT HOME YOU WILL JUST SINK WORSE. oR I DO. THANKSGIVING WAS PRETTY GOOD. NOW THAT ITS OVER AND I LOOK BACK I HAD A PRETTY GOOD TIME. WHICH IS THE FIRST YEAR EVER. AND YES $ IS TIGHT. BUT THATS NOT WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT. AT ALL!!!!!!!!!

LOVE YA GIRL GLAD YOUR ALL HERE

SHELIA

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 10:07pm

keli - thank you for posting this and thanks to everyone who replied. i have had a hard time with the holidays since my dad passed away 3 years ago and this year it's worse because of my income situation. i know that's not what the holidays are about, but it's not just the christmas gifts that have me worried, it's about simply making my monthly bill payments. but i will try to apply some of the advice given here to survive the holidays. and personally, i like your idea about the bp commune.


traci