Being honest
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| Mon, 12-04-2006 - 10:32am |
I have to have a real heart to heart with my new pdoc today. I have to tell her everything...how I'm feeling...and i hate to, but I have no choice...I'm so tired of BP that I don't know what to do.
I have to tell her how worthless I feel...how UNREAL i feel most of the time...how if I feel good at all, its because I'm manicky...just feels like I'm starting over again from scratch and I'm so not "in the mood" for this.
I have to tell her that my flashbacks and SI urges are really bad...I have to tell her that I don't have ANY clue who I really am...BP defines me, moods define me, and I'm soooooo incredibly sick of it.
I have to tell her I have no concentration at all...none. I cannot focus, cuz my mind is spinning CONSTANTLY.
I have to tell her the depressions are back in full force, and that I want so badly to check out of life for a while...
I have to tell her so much about me, that I don't even want to admit to myself.
Not fun.

I think being open to her about how you are feeling is a good place to start working on your problems. Not being honest with our tdocs and pdocs don't help us solve our problems and sometimes it is so obvious we can't solve them alone. We pay these professionals to help us and yet some of us feel we can't open up and let the professionals help us, which is their job and why we are going in the first place.
~ Tina ~