I need some encouragement

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
I need some encouragement
2
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 11:05pm

Usually I try and go it all alone and just deal with everything myself. I cant do that this time. This may not be the best place to post this, but I feel comfortable with you guys and I think that if I posted this right off the bat on the WW board they would all think im looney...how right they would be, but I dont want the world to label me that fast. Anyways, I am starting Weight Watchers tomorrow, and I am scared. This isnt the first time I've done it, but before I was never afraid to fail, just thought it was inevitable, I used my bp and my kids and my vision and all the other bs I had going against me, as an excuse to fail. I dont want to do that anymore. I want to make it, and I'm scared I wont. I am going by myself, by choice. I want to be solely responsible for if I make it or break it. I would go with DH or my sister or someone else and then if I didnt stick with it I would say "oh they didnt go to the meetings with me and I couldnt get there" and use that as my excuse to just give up. This time I am going to go by myself on the bus if I have to, because I need to do it. I weigh more than I did when I was 9 months pregnant and have to use my atshma inhaler everyday, and before I never even used it at all. My kids worry when I am going to die and constantly ask me when I am going to lose weight and exercise....I can't fail them. I can't fail me. I just can't. But I am so scared that I will and I dont do well with fear...it debiltates me pretty easily most of the time. I don't want that to happen now. I can't count on DH to be there for me, or my mom, or my sister or anyone else, because when I rely on them, and they arent completely solid, I fall flat on my face. I have to make myself proud of me, and not let bp bullcrap get in my head and convince me I am a failure. I need to do this, I have to do this and I can't accept anything less than doing it 100%. How come I know that and I never seem to do it, because our emotions control our actions...positively correlated, proven, blah. Sometimes I hate understanding why I do the things I do, especially when I keep doing things that aren't positive. OK I dont really know what i need or want from ya'll in regards to this, maybe I just needed to see it in black and white in front of me.

Rebekah

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Fri, 12-08-2006 - 9:17am

I think that every single person that has ever done any kind of WW or nutrisystem, or any diet plan...has felt exactly the same way you do.

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God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Fri, 12-08-2006 - 11:41am

I have to agree with Donna....you are finally being honest with yourself as well as doing it for the "right" reasons this time (yourself and your health).

Good luck and we are all pulling for you.
tk

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