meeting with tdoc - triggers
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| Fri, 12-22-2006 - 1:45pm |
i called tdoc yesterday to ask her how to make the su thoughts stop. she told me to come in today at 11:00 that we needed to talk. the tone in her voice worried me, thinking that she would have the sherrif's department waiting there to take me to the hospital. well, i was half right. i showed up and we talked for a few minutes and she told me she wanted me to go into the hospital. i asked her when and she said today. i said no way. i can't do that to my kids this close to christmas. she argued that if i offed myself between now and christmas that would be worse. but i told her that we have a contract and other than the one slip, i've been honoring it. i just want the thoughts to stop. she wasn't completely sold. so then she wanted to come to the house and talk to my mom to get her to keep an extra close eye on me if i didn't go to the hospital. i didn't like that idea either. my mother is part of my problem to begin with. so finally she decided to come to my house and evaluate the meds i had on hand and remove anything i don't need over a 4 day period. that would get me through christmas and i have an appointment with her on tuesday, i guess to see if she still wants me to go in the hospital, but i can't do it before new years either. i've got to take my oldest dd to meet her bio-dad next friday and pick her up on sunday. so the soonest i could go i/p is after new years. i'm really hoping to be better by then.
the bad part of this is that my mood is really affecting my oldest dd who is also bp. she is cycling and it's my fault because of my cycling. she took me to a concert last night to try and make me feel better and

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
Christmas used to be a hard time for me, not for social reasons but because in Arizona (where I used to live), Christmas is when the weather starts going from warm to chilly, and changes from hot to cold or cold to hot do something funny to my body chemistry. So anyway, there were two Christmases I was in the hospital, two years in a row. I didn't have kids though (still don't), so I don't know the pressure you are under.
Best of luck to you.
Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"
I'm sorry....I do hope things get better and soon !!
God could not be everywhere, so
Traci,
I know you don't want to go i/p and I'm glad your tdoc is working with you, but I am SO thankful that you have a tdoc who cares so much about you.
Please don't take all your dd's cycling issues onto yourself--the holidays alone are enough to set her off even without the other stressors (that you are only on the receiving end of).