Exaggeration?
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Exaggeration?
| Fri, 12-29-2006 - 10:04am |
Hi!
I am dating a man who has bipolar. One thing that I have noticed lately is that he exaggerates on a lot of things. Example: He spent $5000 at a liquor store in one day and drank it all.... I asked if he really meant $5000 and he said yes... and I know that this is practically impossible. There are many more examples of exaggerations as well. Is this common with bipolar disorder??
Thanks!!!

I think if he's manic right now, yes he can exaggerate like that...not to mention drinking a lot.
God could not be everywhere, so
I know I use to exaggerate alot. I've worked really hard to control it and if I catch myself, I correct myself. My mother exaggerates to the point that whenever she speaks, we take what she says, cut it in half, then presume that is sort of close to the semi-truth. She does it so much that we think she really believes herself. That's why I work so so hard to catch myself if I start to exaggerate even a little.
I don't know if it is related to BP though. I dont know for sure if my mother has BP. I know she has something that makes her go way up and way down, and get real mean. I've been able to temper my self where venomous evil doesn't spew forth from my lips ever. (dunno if that's a BP thing either, or a learned thing from mothers behavior)
Hyperbole is a family trait for me. We all exaggerated for effect when I was growing up, parents and kids alike, and it just became part of my personality. I never even thought of it as a problem until after I was married and my husband (who is very anal about getting details right) kept correcting me all the time. I learned not to do it just to stop him from embarrassing me in front of other people, especially my in-laws. I always knew the difference between my hyperbolic statements and the truth though. If someone called (calls...I know I still do it sometimes...old habits die hard) me on it I could adjust my estimate to something more reasonable.
What you're describing seems a little different though. I had a really close friend for many years that had some serious problems with the truth. I loved him dearly, but could never date him because I could never trust him. He was the sort of guy that would tell you he'd had chicken for dinner when I knew darn well that we'd had burgers together. He once put me in a really awkward position over a big family meal. His fiancee (one of several, but not one of his 2 ex-wives) thanked me for giving them a pair of expensive concert tickets as an engagement present. Unfortunatly, I knew darn well that he'd bought them with the intent that he and I would go together until I backed out after finding out he was newly engaged to a woman he told me he'd broken up with. The point I wanted to make though is that my awareness of his propensity to lie about absolutely everything began with an awareness that he exaggerated with no seeming understanding that he was exaggerating. Like your boyfriend he would tell me outragous things that could not (COULD NOT) be true in detail, but wouldn't back down when questioned. So, just be careful.
Mary
Are you sure they aren't true? Bipolar people in a manic state can do some things that most people would find kind of wild. If he really is doing over the top things that he doesn't recognize as "over the top", that's a sign he doesn't have his illness well controlled and you should be aware of that. If the stories just aren't true and he really doesn't know the difference then you're getting into another area of mental illness that also needs to be addressed before he's a good, stable mate.
And of course, if he's lieing to you and lieing about lieing....well that's a problem isn't it. Why do you think he told you he spent $5000 at a liquor store and drank it all? Could he imagine that would impress you in some way? I'm just curious because no matter what the actual ammount of money involved he seemed to be telling you he drinks too much and I wonder how he thinks about that...proud? afraid? ashamed?
Mary
Hello. I just wanted to say that I am glad you are at least trying to understand your boyfriends illness. I also wanted to add my 4 cents :) I have a problem with exxageration also, but like Mary said, bipolar people can do some crazy things. I spent about $2500 on furniture on ebay once, instead of paying the bills, and have done many other crazy things that most people would never dream of doing. So, its possible he is telling you the absolute truth about his experiences, but he could just as well be embellishing. Either way, since it bothers you, ask him WHY he tells you this stuff. I personally told my husband these sorts of things so that he would understand what sort of things he was getting himself into when he committed to a relationship with me, that although I didnt think these things were a good idea or something positive, I wanted him to know that it is possible that I would do things like that. Maybe that is his point of view, he just wants you to know what he is capable of doing when he is manic and to enlist your help if he shows signs of that behavior...either way I would ask him what his reasoning for telling you all of those things is, and if those are the only things that seem far fetched, then I would accept it at face value, after all, they are past occurrences and if he is not embellishing or lying about current events and things that go on in your life now, it is in all likelihood true. I can imagine it is entirely possible he did actually spend $5000 on liquor and drank it all, albeit not in one sitting...or else he would be dead. Anyways, thats just my thoughts on the subject. I hope you get this issue resolved in a way that is going to benefit you both
Happy New Year
Rebekah